Chapter 4: The Start of Medication

Sorry if i sent two read requests to some of you, i dont think the first one worked

The doctor told me to go to the med window to get my first dose. I was really hopeful about starting the medication, the doctor seemed to think that it could reduce the voices. Just the idea of something being able to help seemed to ease some of my stress. Jess went on the other side of the window and gave me a small dose of the Risperidone. She told me that the doctor started me at a very small dose twice a day and he would likely increase it slowly until the working dosage is reached. She also told me that it could take a couple of weeks to see the full affect.

After I took my medication Jess told me that the other kids went to the group room for morning group. So I nervously walked into the group room. The room was larger than I expected and it was filled with comfortable looking chairs arranged in an oval shape around the room. I took an empty seat next to Maddie and one of the girls I haven't met yet. Ben was sitting across the room from the seat I chose and above him was a large whiteboard on the wall. He explained to the group, mostly for my benefit, what the morning group was for. He said it was to check in on how everyone was and to set daily goals.

Ben had us go around the circle and say names, he asked me to start because I was the newest. I introduced myself and then Maddie said her name. The next girl had shoulder-length blonde hair, she had a preppy girl look to her too, she introduced herself as Jenny. Next was Rachel who had greeted me when I came in, then was a short girl who looked younger than the rest. Her name was Amanda, she had black hair that covered one of her eyes. Next was Jess, Ben, and then the other morning staff I haven't met. He looked jacked, and had a military looking haircut, his name was Alex. Next up was Sandy who looked about seventeen and had long black hair with red highlights in it. Then Marissa, who was short and had bleach blonde hair with colored tips, which matched her bright blue eyes. Then was Emily who was definitely the tallest person in the unit, her hair was a lot like Jenny's. Lastly was Janet, she had a lot of piercings on her ears and lips and she was about my height. I had no idea how I was going to remember all the names, but I figured I could just ask Maddie or Rachel.

After the overwhelming introduction, Ben went over the unit rules. They didn't seem to hard to follow: no swearing, no horseplay, no touching, no one is allowed in each others rooms, respect each other, and confidentiality. The rest of the kids seemed to hate them but I didn't think they seemed that bad. When he was done he let us go to the main room for breakfast.

I didn't realize how hungry I was until I could smell the food, so I followed the rest of the kids to the counter the trays were at. One was labeled as a vegetarian meal but the rest had bacon, scrambled eggs, and a bowl of fruit. I took one just like everyone else had done, then I walked to one of the long tables and looked for a place to sit. Maddie was waving me over to sit next to her, so I walked over and sat between her and Emily. 

I looked down at my food and was disgusted, there were maggots eating through my food. They were crawling around and inching their way around my food. I jumped and pushed my tray off the table. Ben rushed over and asked me what happened, I raised my voice and asked how he thought I was suppose to eat the maggot-infested meal. He looked at the food I had thrown on the ground and told me that there weren't any maggots. I was speechless when I looked down at the normal-looking food on the ground. I was so confused, my thoughts raced and the voices yelled telling me that I was stupid and crazy. I could feel tears running down my face, I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed. Everyone was looking at me, they must have thought I was crazy. My mind was clotted with embarrassment, the voices laughed at me and told me how crazy I was. I slowly sank back in my chair and tried to hide the pain from the burns on my back. Everyone went back to eating their breakfast except Maddie who asked me if I was okay and if I wanted some of her meal. I said I was fine and I thanked her for the offer.

After breakfast we had an education group, which was about coping skills today. The others seemed bored throughout the group, but to me the group was interesting. The idea of being able to manage symptoms of mental illness just by doing simple activities was simply amazing to me. During the group everyone kept talking about depression and anxiety, this made me curious. What would the doctor label me as? I didn't seem to display the same symptoms as the rest of the kids. I wondered what irreversible label would be stamped on my file and branded on my life.

After the education group the staff told us it was crafts time. The other patients seemed excited about this, but I felt silly. "Crafts time", like in first grade when the teacher would let us glue macaroni to a paper plate or scribble on paper with markers and crayons. 

When I followed the group and everyone sat at the tables, I sat alone at the end of one of the two long tables. Maddie came and joined me asking if I minded the company, I was actually pleasantly surprised. Crafts time was a lot different than what I expected, we could pretty much do whatever we wanted as long as it related to art: coloring, making bracelets, painting, drawing, making a collage, or even using gimp. Maddie taught me how to make the bracelets, and I felt relieved of the voices while making them. Maddie made me a black and white one that said voices, and after I learned to make them I had about six or seven on my right wrist. I didn't want to risk putting them over my stitches.

Unfortunately, crafts time ended when lunch arrived. I was curious who was vegetarian so I watched as Maddie took the plate labeled vegetarian, then I grabbed mine. Maddie and I sat together again until my mom arrived for visiting hours. She gave the staff my bag of clothes, and we were guided to the group room where the visits were. I saw Rachel sitting with her dad and Amanda was sitting with what appeared to be her mom and older brother. My mom and I took two empty seats and she began talking. The voices came back and I was too distracted to really enjoy the visit. I felt bad for my mom, she would try to spark a conversation but I only gave one-word responses. It's not like I didn't want to talk to her, I just couldn't, I tried so hard but I couldn't think of what to say. My mind seemed to be somewhere else, but I didn't even know where.

After my mom left, Ben gave me the clothes my mom brought, but he said he couldn't give me my shoes or belts since I was on one-to-one checks. I put the clothes in my room and changed out of the hospital gown and dirty sweatpants. I returned to the main room and saw that everyone was doing different things. Some people were drawing, some were writing, some were making bracelets, and some where just resting. I went to sit down to make more bracelets but Ben announced that we were about to start fitness group. Ben walked over to me and told me that the doctor wrote an order for me to do physical therapy instead of fitness, because of the previously cut tendon.

Ben introduced me to Jake, one of the physical therapists from the hospital. Jake looked young, like early thirties, and he had a five o'clock shadow looking beard. But since I was on one-to-one checks, I couldn't leave the unit so I had to do physical therapy in my room. Jake and I went to my room and he examined my cut and told me that he read on my file that my tendon was cut but reconnected through surgery. I affirmed this and then he had me do a lot of movement with it to see what types of exercises he would have me do. He took a lot of notes on every stretch and movement my arm was able to make. Through the whole session, the voices were narrating every single move I made. I was about to freak out but Jake told me that the session was over. At the end of the session he told me that he would bring some exercise equipment to use next time.

When I returned to the main room the staff were different people. I recognized Jim and Nathan from when they brought me to the unit, but there was a female staff too. Jim told me that in the evenings he would be my check in staff, like Ben had been in the morning. Then Jim introduced me to Lindsey, the last staff member I haven't met. She appeared to be a natural redhead and was a little taller than me.

Then Jim guided me to the tables where the patients were all sitting. They all had folders in front of them and there was a tall black-haired women who greeted me. She told me she was the teacher for the unit, and she said that the school would send her work for me to do, and I would still get credits for the days I missed. I went and sat next to Maddie, who I considered my only friend on the unit. The school hadn't sent much work yet, but I had a couple of papers for psychology to do. The psychology work was on mental illness, and I almost laughed out loud because of the irony. I was skimming through the paper until I saw the words "...hearing voices" on the page. My heart stopped and my jaw dropped.

Reviews

[Chaz Hemsworth]

I like this chapter as a whole. I believe though that you said there were only girls in chapter 2. Also the introduction of all the characters at once is a bit overwhelming.

[a schizophrenic writer]

i meant only girl patients, some of the staff are male, ill go double check that. :P
the introduction of the characters was actually suppose to be overwhelming (as the first time i was admitted, i felt very overwhelmed during the first group where they introduced everyone.) but do you think it would be better off for the book to introduce them differently?
thanks for the review!

[Chaz Hemsworth]

Actually I gave some thought to that. It really suits the purpose well actually. The way the writing works amplifies the meaning, so taking that away would lessen the impact.

[a schizophrenic writer]

I always am glad to hear some advice though! Thanks again(:

[cycy]

i love how the story is progressing and how the characters are all blending in and that you are introducing more people as well. it's going really well and can't wait for the next chapter and i love how you ended this chapter hey.

[a schizophrenic writer]

thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

[cycy]

already waiting for the next chapter :)

[Tennessee]

NIce kid. I see a pattern when you introduce a new person you say their name and describe their hair. It is unique to this. The ending was good when he starts to see what his exact problem is. I think it is developing well and I want to see where you are taking it. Good kid.

[a schizophrenic writer]

yeah, I should probably go back and add more detail to the characters