Warnings

It pays to listen to those internal warnings...

Remain calm. Easier said than done. Turn around, go back. The prick of

hair standing up on the back of one's neck is a warning. The chill that 

resonates in one's bones, not from the cool night air, is another

warning. Humans were designed with built-in receptors to protect them. 

All too often they ignore the warnings their brains send out, telling them

they're in danger. If the danger is quite obvious, and they can step 

back in time to avoid the consequences, then they're considered lucky.

What about if the danger is not as obvious? That's when the internal 

monitors kick in. Listen to them, and know there is a reason. 

 

I pondered this as the man in the black hoodie followed me through the 

dark alley. Sometimes the threat is not so obvious, but those warnings are

still there. There is no excuse not to take heed. Palms sweating maybe? 

That little voice telling you something's not right. One's heart pounding

so loudly the blood pumping from it rushes like a wild river through

their ears, cutting through background noise, leaving only the 

hum of fear behind.  

 

I stopped and turned towards the man who was following me,

halting him in his tracks. Surely, his internal monitors warned him. 

Ah, but he had chosen to ignore them. I felt pity for him, much 

the way I had for the others, as I drained the warm blood 

from his body. Each pulse of his heart fading, his life leaving 

him, as I sunk my razor-sharp teeth further into his flesh.

I had ignored the warnings once before too, and now I was here. 

Reviews

[Lyingwithlions]

Awesome! I was not expecting that. I love how the table turned.

[Chris]

A good vampyre tale for an eve's delight.

[Writergirl]

Thank you :)

[KittyKatgirl]

Wow this is amazing. At first I thought the guy following her was the danger not her. That's a good twist and the last line was great. Good job and keep up the great work I really enjoyed this :)

[Writergirl]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Ben Noah Suri]

Wow.... Your style of writing and your content are different from the normal.... Great read

[Writergirl]

Thank you :)

[Weeping willow]

Wow! such an intense write,I really felt every line of this poem;

[Writergirl]

Thank you! I appreciate you reading and commenting :)

[Jade Whatever]

This is really good. I like the vampire ending.

[Writergirl]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

[Tamika Finley]

Wow the turn on this was amazing. Very vivid. Great piece.

[Writergirl]

Thank you so much!

[Tamika Finley]

No problem

[rickm97]

Tell me of the horror in his eyes, the shock on his face. Tell me of the smell of his hot frightened breath as you felt it on your face just as you impaled him on your teeth.
Make me 'feel' that alley: Was it a cold and damp and dripping Seattle alley, or a fetid and humid and mosquito-filled south Texas alley.
Good job.

[Writergirl]

Thank you and Challenge accepted. How's this?

I stopped and turned towards the man who was following me, halting him in his tracks. Surely, his internal monitors had warned him. Ahh, but he had chosen to ignore them. I felt pity for him, as I had for the others before him. His adrenaline surged, causing his pupils to dilate and soak in the situation that he found himself in. The‘fight or flight’ response...a little late now. I could smell the fear permeate his pores and replace the musky, wet scent of the damp Seattle alley. My nostrils flared in response and I relished in his fear while bringing my razor sharp teeth to his neck, and drinking the warm blood from his body. His terrified, shocked expression froze on his face as I drained the last drop of life from him. I had ignored the warnings once too, and now I was here.

Thought I'd give it a shot

[rickm97]

Try this: "But, I think more than anything, the pitiful and pale face that was near as hazy brilliant as MY full moon above, showed more surprise than utter terror at the sudden realization that "Yes," things like me really do exist."
Sorry.
Good job, W

[Writergirl]

OK, you're really good at this. LOL Very nice, love it. You give me great inspiration and insight.

[Cassie]

Very very lovely. Vampires ehh!!! I agree with Wordman

[Writergirl]

Thank you! I'm a sucker for vampires (pun intended) :)

[garrshaw]

Awesome job and very original.

[Writergirl]

Thank you so much!!