in my California King

little bitter, come to listen

to the random raindrop patterns

ripple simply outward, onward on their march

stare at the ceiling from some distance

afraid of heights and spiders

my autumn long ambition all crashed and burnt

somebody told me

i was broken down better in a deep sleep dream

nobody mentioned yesterday

i like the freefall

the no net theatrics of her angled leg

like a song i've never heard and can't ignore

so maybe i was empty space

the thin pen script on a folded page

forgotten on a cluttered desktop

or maybe i was days gone by

remembered faintly with a fading smile

i couldn't ask for a better ending than that

Reviews

[Nobody.]

Wow. Damn good. Love every word. Your imagery is scattered and varied in a brilliant pseudo-abstract/train of thought sort of way, but the whole thing still holds together so nicely. My only suggestion would be that you give prose poetry a try at some point. To see this whole scene wrapped up in a neat and punctuated paragraph woul blow one's mind right out of their head. Write on!