The Red Umbrella

 

The air sighed heavily

Whistling a song of chaos

As it trampled upon

The withering grass.

 

The rain furiously narrated

Sonnets of despair

As it fell in great sheets

Across the field.

 

I have always loved the wind,

I have always cherished

Its lullabies.

 

And I have always loved the rain,

I have always listened

To its verses.

 

But… Did I anger them?

 

I held on to my red umbrella,

The only thing that kept me

Safe from the wrath

Of wind and water that day.

 

Suddenly, the wind gushed

Through my fingers

And the red umbrella floated

Through the black rain.

 

In the middle of the grassland,

I was left shivering and drenched

In tears of the nimbus

And tears from my own eyes.

 

I have always loved the red umbrella.

 

In its silence, its hue spoke

Of the sweetest poetry

When my heart longed for it,

And uttered out its misery

When I was the only one

Who could listen.

 

It spoke of secrets never told

To the rest of the world

For it knew that only I

Could have understood.

 

It was the only thing that kept me

Safe from the wrath

Of wind and water that day.

 

I still wait for the red umbrella

Maybe someday, the wind

Shall carry it back to me.

 

Maybe I can take hold of it again

One sweet rainy day,

One sweet windy day,

And perhaps the red umbrella

Won’t go away.

 

 

© Maxinne Marie

Reviews

[Sarah Williams]

I truly enjoyed the story told in this piece. Sometimes things that we love, things that we've always been comfortable with, turn on us and score our hearts...but hearts heal, faster than our minds allow them to really. There are many wonderful and stark images in this piece, the idea of the "red" umbrella against the black and forbidding sky is quite nice...reminds me of Coleridge and his use of the color "red" in many of his pieces.

Mechanically...I think there were places where this could have flowed better (particularly stanzas 1, 6, 8 and 9). Overall, though, I really liked reading this!

In tears of the nimbus
And tears from my own eyes.

--I like these lines...interesting imagery!

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

i read this once and i see the same speck of the usual style. but still its good, and your style stands out like almost all of the time! i know you for quite so long now, and desperation had passed by and passed out but you still have something in your barehands that you keep holding on and never get it away, so the strenght you've shown against all odds is so extremely great. and where you get that strenght, a symbolism of the red umbrella is very wonderful. red for love and umbrella for shield and that's what you need by now, i mean for an eternity... to be safe and actualized....

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

omygod. my strenght is spelled terribly wrong, and mentioned it twice. :(

[I.R.]

I agree, the imagery is great. The description of the storm as music and poetry really contrasts with its actual force. Since you provide the "red" umbrella, you have a great oppurtinity of creating tension by clashing the red umbrella with a color that, sorry for being redundant, clashes with the color red. I'm confused about the last line though: if the umbrella was swept away, and the speaker is longing for it, how is it that the umbrella "won't go away," if it has disapeared and the speaker wants it back in the first place? Hope this helped.

[Anna Marie]

So much wonderful imagery and symbolism in this piece. It was beautifully written. Each stanza could stand alone it seemed. Great work :)

This was my favorite stanza:

"The rain furiously narrated
Sonnets of despair
As it fell in great sheets
Across the field."

[Christina Marie]

What powerful symbolism! This piece evoked many images and stunning emotions as I read each stanza. It is beautifully written!

[Gar Avoch]

Nice imagery at the start

[OceanK.]

I love this piece. It's very gentle.

[Charisma Moonfairy]

This is a beautiful piece of work and you can see it all play out before your eyes as you read it. The wording was perfect and it made me wish I was in the rain and the wind. Good job.

[The Lovely Sound Of Cra..]

I still wait for the red umbrella
Maybe someday, the wind
Shall carry it back to me.

Maybe I can take hold of it again
One sweet rainy day,
One sweet windy day,
And perhaps the red umbrella
Won�t go away.

Wow, this was really beautifully worded and was really deep. I loved the visuals you provided and the flow of this piece. Great job. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Beautifully worded. Siunds liek metaphor for a friend who went away and your hoping for there return. Either way I love the sturcture and flow of this poem. Nice work.

[Roy]

Lovely imagery...

"The rain furiously narrated
Sonnets of despair
As it fell in great sheets
Across the field. "

And from the other pieces around(their images) , I see that you've put your mother's Sony Ericsson W800 to good use..