A Cold Valentine

A February 14 journal entry.

 

February 14, 2008. 01:17 AM.

 

I’m sitting on my bed in the comfort of my [rented] room, my beloved journal placed on a pillow against my lap, the subtle warmth of my yellow blanket covering the lower half of my body. I’m shivering. I was ready to sleep a few minutes ago - my jaded eyes told me so - but the frosty air became my source of inspiration as to why I’m writing this right now. So, as I lay on my bed, sheltered by my blanket yet disturbed by the chill of the night, I thought of today. It’s Feb. 14 already. And I got up, turned the lights on, went to get my journal and sat on my bed to write. Inspiration strikes again.

 

The chilly breeze reminded me of the coldness I feel right now, not just that due to the temperature of the environment, but the coldness I feel within.

                I miss him.

                                I long for him.

 

I know, and I totally understand that he’s really busy these days. It’s been weeks of busy schedules and I haven’t seen him in a while. Hospital duties, written requirements, prom problems... I’m well aware and I totally understand that. It actually led me to the conclusion that we’re not going to see each other later today.

 

The chill of darkness just made me long for warmth. The coldness of missing him just made me long for his presence. I need warmth, comfort. A look into his eyes, a touch of his hand, an embrace that’ll let me know he loves me... as I love him so much.

 

This longing leaves me so cold. The weather does so, too. Yet it seems I wouldn’t be able to fulfill that longing today.

 

Just think about it. Our first Valentine as a couple... not spent together?      

                Yes, I know, he’s busy! And I’m okay with that.

                                As long as this love doesn’t cease to exist, it’s enough to make me happy.

 

 

I just miss him so much and I feel so cold and alone.

                It’s going to be a cold valentine.

                                Even the weather harmonizes with my emotions.

Reviews

[Dante Balsote]

There is something in "presence" that tickles this poetess' soul. :D

[Gheeneil]

At least the coldness was just ephemeral. It was not something like absence of love. I enjoyed reading this.

[Wildecat]

This is a beautiful write, a total pleasure to read such a fine poem.

[Hedra Helix]

man you write beautifully, lyrical, surprising and clear. Joyful and real, giving with its emotion.

[emz]

Very moving, its a sign of the times, we all work so hard and never seem to make time for the ones that we love.. its sad but such a true account of the way many of us live today.. if only one day a year we give our whole being to one person... how hard can that be???? beautiful words thanks.

[Daly]

This is so poetic and moving. I love the pacing of thoughts you demonstrate in this journal entry.