Forbidden Sky

Memoirs of the flightless angel.

 

I lie on my field of dreams

Watching the black heavens

Where Diana smiles at me mockingly

 

I envy the stars that laugh forever      

They encircle the dome from whence I came

 

It's as if I am desperately trying to reach

The sky from which I was forbidden

Since the day I gave up my wings

For an earthly love

 

 

Written: October 6, 2006 @ 09:37 pm

© Maxinne Marie

 

 

Reviews

[E.L.C.]

It was short and striking. I loved it.

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

well, reading this again and again makes me feel the cool wind striking my entire body...WhOOosH.. flew, flah, fHleeH, FlOoH!!!

guess what are those "F' words..


hehe, the sound of the wings slicing the humid air....LOL,


cooL and vibrant!!! emotionally-persuasive!!! nicely written...

wish i can too, write such FANTASY!!! eventhough it will mess up with my grammars again, but still captivates the real entity of being what's in you... but, sadly, i really can'T..

wish to hear more of ur short, concise irrevocable poems ure making...they are all GREAT..

B.E.A.YOOOOO.ti.FULLLLL....

[Allison Du Puis]

I really liked this. It was short but very deliberate.
I envy the stars that laugh forever
I especially liked that line. Very nicely done! =) Thanks for sharing!

[REALIZE]

"I lie on my field of dreams
Watching the black heavens"

That is my favorite line. You opened it up to good. This is beautiful. great read

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is lovely. I really enjoyed it - i could feel the cool wind on my skin, even though you didn't even describe it :)

"It's as if I am desperately trying to reach" - this line didn't flow so well; perhaps:

"It is as though I am..."
or "It's as though...""

the It's as if was hard to wrap around the tongue/mind.

great job.

[Disraeli Arito]

HA

Nice piece

Thank you for asking me to read

[Hawksmoor]

I meant complaint. Damn. I'm outta school fer nine years and all of a sudden, I can't spell. LOL.

Hawksmoor...From The Bleed.

[Hawksmoor]

Cool. From the first line on, I felt like I was taking a slight dip into the best, most ancient part of Greece. It has a very old world feel to it, this piece, and the point of it is certainly beautiful. The only compliant I have is that it could've been a little longer, but then, short and sweet can say a lot, as well. Nice.

You ever seen City Of Angels?

Hawksmoor...From The Bleed.

[Ernie Roman]

ooh!! very nice...love that ending....oh hell yea... great job friend!!

[Kevin Scott Collier]

Wonderful poem. It makes you think about how if one cannot be allowed to the sky, how we can find peace in love on earth.
- Kevin