Touch of Your Hand

The color of a moment. Written when I was 13 or 14.

 

The night was still young. The world outside was dark and cold, yet the echoing voices of people and the music that played told me there was gonna be excitement that evening. Before I knew it, you were right in front of me.

 

I sat down on a chair, and like a little girl amazed by the stars that lighted up the inky blue sky, I stared at your twinkling eyes. I wished that you would at least glance at me for just a mere second. And you did. I turned my eyes away from your face and looked down.

 

I figured it out right there and then. Your silent actions have confirmed that we were strangers to each other. You probably didn't know I exist. And I myself never met you all my life - that is, until that night. But still we did not talk, not even a hint of smile to each other.

 

Minutes passed, and I heard your voice. It was like soft rain that fell upon the leaves, like a flowing river that runs through the fields, like the wind's sweet sigh that rushes through my senses. It made me feel like I was being cuddled and rocked to sleep. What else could I do but smile and picture your face in my head while softly singing? I then realized that the song described how I felt that very moment. It was only that night when you came into my life, and I didn't know what would happen next, because we did not even say "hi". Not a word. And for me, that was silence in the middle of a noisy crowd. But your voice had broken that depressing silence. That voice had shattered the coldness I felt in the air. That voice had melted my heart, like vanilla ice cream over hot apple pie.

 

I gazed at you again. You didn't seem to notice me looking at you the whole time. Then you stood up in front of me and smiled at your reflection. I looked up just to see your smile that seemed to drown me in an ocean of happy thoughts and memories. Again, I was mesmerized by how your eyes sparkled like crystals, and I could have just continued staring at your face that stunned me from the first time I saw you - until you looked at me. Yes. I was sure of that. Your eyes just turned and looked at me. Naturally, I instantly turned my eyes away from yours, and yet I could swear that my heart took a leap that very moment.

 

I was falling hopelessly, secretly wishing that somehow, time would freeze itself so I could get lost in that moment - a moment that seemed so common to everyone else, but so special and rare to me. It was a moment I would always treasure. I just wanted that it would not end so soon. But I couldn't do anything. I knew that a few hours later, you'd be walking out of my life.

 

It did happen. The next thing I knew, I was back to reality. Back to my old self thinking of home, family, friends, school, music, and my computer. I was back to my life. Yet, something else lingered at the back of my mind. I woke up the morning after, and I thought of the nagging feeling that was spinning 'round in my head. I wondered if you were real, or if you were just a silent reverie. If you were only a dream, I wished I didn't have to wake up so soon. If you were real, I couldn't wait to finally meet you one day, if that could be possible.

 

But still, I know it. I don't know how or why, but I just know it. Someday, I will be with you. I will be mesmerized by the light in your eyes. I will drown in your beautiful smile. The sound of your voice will be music to my ears. And the slightest touch of your hand will take my breath away...

 

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Seems this is a coming of age type of story...
since you say you were 13 or 14 years old...
when this came about the lines...
again...I'm reading your history postings...
and I'm sure much has changed...
since this was last penned...

[Buck]

Maxinne,
First, I would consider this piece not to be a "true" story but rather a poetic prose. It was beautifully written and the imagery was wonderful. However, there are some few minor elements that need to be re-examined. Check your punctuation carefully and if you are not sure of what I am referring to, then privately message me this poetic prose and I will assist you. Also, there are a few spelling errors however neither the punctuation or spelling errors prevented me from thoroughly enjoying this read. I would reconsider changing the status of this piece.

Siempre,
Buck

P.S. I always love reading pieces that include imageries of "night" and "coldness."

[Benny Longshank]

This is really nice, and certainly well done. Although like the last fella, I don't know why this isn't considered a story... and I don't know why it's labled a Teen.

Anyway, like I said... really nice work!!! There's just a few Grammatical errors that may need looking at, plus it wouldn't harm to re-arrange a few sentances...

Hopefully you know what I mean. If not message me, 'll be happy to explain!!!

Keep 'em coming,

Benny

[Kevin]

Well I don't know how to rate this because I generally don't read "stories". I did enjoy this though and am most appreciative you invited me to read it. There were many things I liked about it and only a few I felt needed adjustment. Whenevr I am unsure about rating something I default to 5 stars.

[Yira Simone]

Sensual, deep, and romantic. I loved the line about vanilla ice cream over apple pie...priceless use of imagery. This was very good.