Missing

 

Shadows of the past haunt her

She's trapped in a horrible dream

She's waiting for someone to find her

And take her where she belongs

 

Her soul is cold as ice

Her heart as hard as stone

She's lost in frozen memories,

Shattered hopes and broken dreams

 

She's searching for a soul

Trying to find a hand to hold

Waiting for someone

To come and take her home

 

She's trying to be strong

Trying to hold on

Hiding in the shadows

Of her broken life

Will someone come and save her

And open up her eyes?

 

 

Written: 02/08/05

Reviews

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

I have three letters for this. W, O, and W again. WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE REVIEW FOR THIS POEM?!?!?!?!? It was magical and enticing. I see you have great talent. "Her soul is cold as ice, her heart as hard as stone" .... chills run up my spine.

I noticed a few things that you can tighten up in the poem, and took a little creative license to show you how it might be improved. I hope this helps you:

"Shadows of the past are haunting
She's trapped in a horrible dream
She waits for someone to find her
And take her where she belongs

Her soul is cold as ice
Her heart as hard as stone
She's lost in frozen memories,
Shattered hopes and broken dreams

She's searching for a soul
Grasping for a hand to hold
Waiting for someone
To come and take her home

She's trying to be strong
Fighting to carry on
Hiding in the shadows
Of her shredded, broken life
Will someone come and save her
And open up her eyes?"

Great job Maxinne. This is one of the best poems I have read on this site.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The longing nature of this write...
the wanting to be found...
and accepted for who you are...
and start living life again...

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

this is good enough to be featured...!! ...but i don't see any connection to it with your life...i think your too happy now, and i bet you wrote this one because of anything that made you write this...huh(?) sounds redundant huh?!! lol... i mean, inspired by a song, perhaps evanescence or the like.... i get your words!!! nicely braiden!

[Sean Allen]

Hi Maxinne,
How could this have been here waiting for so long for someone to review it?
But as your poem says, "She's waiting for someone to find her..."

Perhaps not repeating 'She's' in the first stanza would help.

Maxinne (one n) has always been a favorite name for me.

sa