American Smut

You read the title, right?

Crying, thoughts screaming.
Self hatred, she was wrong.
A nightmare was dreaming.
If it wasn't for these songs,

Misinterpreting pain to be love.
Running around is natural.
Loving every push and shove.
Believing every lie was factual.

Media subliminally portraying sex to be life.
Smudged makeup and long endless nights.
A constant and very common strife.
Pertaining to this path being wrong or right.

Reviews

[drew garner]

I think it would be more interesting then the general middle finger to the oppressing class (that seems to be the poems intent). To focus more on the internal reality that is a reaction to it. Trying to deconstruct and put back together the person that the media belittles and dehumanizes. But your poem did make me think about something that should probably be on my mind more often. So it was probably a success.

[Gee]

We have all of the BLM and the like ongoing yet women still receive a very raw deal much of the time. When will that change..
Good morning

[genocide]

I have no idea what you're talking about does this mean you hate yourself and are punishing yourself

[RebeccaRose]

It's not about me, it's about women being treated like trash because the media deems one night stands to be normal and she keeps getting hurt because she wants love.

[genocide]

yeah that's pretty f*****g s****y sorry about that

[RebeccaRose]

Lol heck yeah man, this generation is screeeewed.

[wordman]

deep thoughts,but probably right

[Matthew Kult]

Deciphering Fallacies

Great Read

Matthew

[Davidgeo]

"T'was is not for those songs,"
Did you mean 'it's' instead of "is"? Or 'these' instead of "those"? If you didn't your syntax is wrong.

"misleading pain to be love."
'loved' not "love", for the aforementioned reasons.

It's an excellent second stanza, but it has some errors.

"... endless long nights"
'endlessly long nights'
or 'long endless nights'
for the same reasons as before.

You have a kernel of something excellent, idea wise, but your execution is sloppy.

I like where this poem is going, but, you must get your s**t together grammatically.

[RebeccaRose]

Thank you for your brutally honest review, we all need a kick in the a*s sometimes.

[RebeccaRose]

But might I add that she was, "misleading pain to be love" But thank you again!

[Davidgeo]

"Misinterpreting pain to be love" would sound more logical, "misleading pain to be love" is, ironically speaking, misleading itself. How about this, 'misleading pain to become love'; I think that would make your intent more clear while sticking to your format. I could be wrong though, I smoke a lot of grass and lose myself frequently.

[RebeccaRose]

I smoke a lot of grass too, and if I weren't in my own body, I'd lose myself literally, haha. Thank you though, I believe you're correct actually.