Integrity

My song lyrics, not necesarilly a poem...

I'll keep loose, keep steady

Stay on the right side of life.

Be strong, be ready

To defend myself and say why.

When it matters,

I'll keep it simple.

I won't complicate what I know.

I'll be myself not a pretender

Then I won't have to put on a show.

 

My life's just starting out.

I'll leave out the fear and doubt.

Follow the future I dare to see.

I'll aim for the brightest star.

Wait for my dreams to go far.

Hold'n fast to my integrity.

 

I'll take my time, when I have a plan.

Accept all the help I can.

When success comes, I'll be ready.

Enjoy my time no regrets.

I'll ask advice from the people

Who don't always say what I want to hear.

They'll be truthful.

They'll be honest.

So, I'll listen to them without fear.

 

My life's just starting out.

I'll leave out the fear and doubt.

Follow the future I dare to see

I'll aim for the brightest star.

Wait for my dreams to go far.

Hold'n fast to my integrity.

 

I've a right to stay happy.

Focus on the strength that's inside.

So I'll smile, whenever I'm alone.

Wear a sense of pupose with pride.

I won't shut out the world outside.

So life won't always be about me.

I'll be prepared for the give and take.

To aim for the future I see.

 

My life's just starting out.

I'll leave out the fear and doubt.

Follow the future I dare to see.

I'll aim for the brightest star.

Wait for my dreams to go far.

Hold'n fast to my integrity.

Author's Note

Tell me honestly, is it good?
I think it needs more punctuation do you?
What do you think?

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

I like the message the song carries. It's postitive, uplifting and one that I can see, easily inspiring people to keep their chin up and both be true to themselves, as well as truthful. You've got a lot of positive moral wisdoms in the piece, that's a breath of fresh air in a world that has a lot of negative shades. Kudos for that.

I would offer a couple of suggestions, The first is the last line of your chorus. I personally think the piece would have a better ring to it, if it was "holding" or "hold'n" instead of "hold", besides... using hold isn't really good english.

The second is all about the 3rd stanza.... I'll copy it down here and put the grammar fixes and or alternate suggestion next to each line.

I'll take my time, when I have a plan.
Accept all the help I can get. (I'd drop the last word, "get". Let that line rhyme with the first.)
When success come I'll be ready. ("When success comes, I'll be ready.)
Enjoy my time no regrets.
I'll askadvice from the people ("...ask advice..." Add a space)
Who don't always say what I want to hear. ("It's not always what I want to hear.")
They'll be truthful. They'll be honest.
So, I'll listen to them without fear.

Overall, It's not a bad song at all and I enjoyed the message it gave.
Keep up the good ink!

Aaron - Wolfwind

[Sami Khalil]

A good uplifting message. Thank you for sharing...:)....................

[Obscured by the Shadows]

Girl that was amazing, though in the third paragraph you forgot a space XD OTHER THAN THAT it is an amazing poem, beautifully written, and I cannot wait to read another one, haha and you must start writing stories child, I am curious to see what you come up with.