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A Poem by Darcy

When

I looked at him I used to feel full

I thought about him my heart used to flutter

I talked to him I would barely get the words out

 

Now

I look at him I resent him for life

I think about him my thoughts are violent

I talk to him I have trouble keeping profanity in

 

 

 

© 2008 Darcy


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Ian
Short and straight.
Feelings very well expressed.
Lots of emotion in a short writing.
Good write!

Posted 15 Years Ago


I like this it's short and to the point well stated, and well written.

Posted 16 Years Ago


I like this. You used clear, concise, frank language well in this poem. It is not easy to write a good poem in few words. I like the contrast between these two lines: "I talked to him I could barely get the words out", and "I talk to him I have trouble keeping keeping profanity in." Well done.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Compartment 114
Compartment 114
Short, sweet and to the point. That describes every "relationship gone bad" in only 8 lines! Sad but true. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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4 Reviews
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Added on October 25, 2008

Author

Darcy
Darcy

MN



About
I'm 14 year old girl, and I would like comments on how to make my work better, I write a lot of poems because they come easiest, they flow from me randomly, sometimes I don't even know what they mean more..

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