I'm Just Not Sure Anymore

A story about what I am going through.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like slipping back into my old habits and no one is here to stop me, because no one knows. I just cry when no one is around and listen to sad songs. And kill one more part of me inside. I slipping and don't know where I'll land. I am trying to lose weight so that I can gain back my confidence, and yet I cannot seem to control my eating habits. I am not fat by any means really I am just curvy 145lbs. 5'5". But a part of me still feels the need to lose weight until I am a twig. I don't know why. 

I need an outlet to solve things. I need a way to change where my mind is going, because it's not in the right direction. I feel like I am trying to grip back to reality, but my mind can't find the difference between the fake and real. I need to just be by others who support me. I need to feel something in me. I need a distraction and quick before I don't know what I am supposed to do.

Life is my blurry vision. Leading me into a place I think is safe but turns out to be the Devil's pit. I can't tell left from right, or hot from cold. I am fading into non-existence. I feel like a ghost, there but not seen or heard. Crying out and getting walked on. Maybe this is what God deemed right and fitting for me. I just don't know. Someone help me. Someone slap me back to the real world. I hope I come back down from the deathly clouds i am engulfed in.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

You are a classic case of "over thinking".
You over think everything. If you concentrate
on all of your problems they will only multiply
and increase and become desperation.
Forget it---- Email your thoughts to me and I
will message you right back and help you.
You have to relax and accept friends..... Just
learn to accept, to just live with people .
Talk to me
---- John