Nine

Without further ado i give you Alec XD

Chapter Nine

 

 

Alec watched the rain pound on his Study’s window, lighting scarred the sky and the wind howled.

  This was no ordinary storm. This was a warning.

Alec’s quiet laugh was drowned by the deafening thunder from above.

 “Try all you want.” He taunted. “It’s because of a witch that I’m safe from your powers.” Alec referred to the spell surrounding his one-hundred acres of land that was supposedly meant to keep his whereabouts hidden from the world and to keep him in at the same time. But little did that ignorant witch know that once the spell was cast it kept all Children of the Dark Moon in also.

  “And there’s nothing you can do to stop my plan now.” It was only just a few hours ago that his guest stepped through his threshold and he wasn’t going to let a little wind get in his way. Alec picked up a vial from the few he had on his desk. The contents were a dark crimson, not much to others but to him it meant everything.

  A knock on the door almost made him drop the precious bottle to the floor. He quickly slid the vial in his hand under the cuff of his shirt and raked the rest into the desk drawer before answering. “I’m occupied at this moment!” He called, fearing that it was a curious teen wandering the halls at two in the morning.

  “Pardon my interruption, Sir” James called through the door.

Alec released his breath in relief. “Please come in, James.”

  James’s had retired from his tuxedo coat long ago during his medical rounds and his appearance looked similar to that of a undertaker.

  Alec smiled at that thought.

“Something funny, Sir?”

  “No, James. Just a little afterthought of mine.”

James nodded, though still looking a bit curious. “Every student has been tended to and are resting for the night.” James reported. “And I’ve locked their doors just for a precaution, Sir.”

  Alec pulled the vial from his shirt sleeve, examining it in the little light his desk gave off. “Excellent work, James.”

 The vial caught James’s eye. “Sir, is that-”

“My blood.” Alec finished for him. “Of course. Werewolf blood is one of the key factors in the change.” Alec settle down in his black leather chair, setting the vial of blood under the desk lamp and watching it as if it was the most enticing thing on this earth.

  James frowned. “Sir, I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”

Alec pulled out a small brown journal from his coat pocket. “Then, my dear James, let me take you through some of my ancestors history.”

  Alec traced the image stamped unto the leather book, marveling over the craftsmanship and detail that went into his family’s crest. His thumbnail followed the thin grove lines that made up the howling wolf’s picture.

  “Picture this then, if you will.” Alec began. “A Werewolf has spotted it’s prey, a deer just to say, and that Werewolf scratches that deer, what would happen?”

  “The deer would be injured?” James admitted slowly as if he were afraid to give his answer.

  Alec smiled. “True, the deer would be injured, but the poison on our claws would make the deer fight most savagely. Giving the Werewolf a more enjoyable dinner to play with.”

  On the outside James appeared to act calmly to this new information, yet on the inside his heart began to race as he started to see where Alec’s intentions were heading.

  “Now let’s switch the deer out for a human on a midnight stroll.” Alec continued. “And say that if the same human was lucky enough to only receive a scratch during the beast’s first pounce, then the poison would spread quite rapidly to the human’s brain. Thus bringing out the Creature of the Night from within as if that human has already made the change.

  Although the Werewolf would only see it as a amusing challenge and play around with the human for a bit. Like a cat and a mouse.

  So they fight, and the human gets close enough to bite the Werewolf, hard enough to draw blood and taste it. The original Werewolf would return to it’s human form and die that same instant while the human escapes with it’s life, but would be a slave to the moon evermore till the day of death. The newly turned human would therefore encountered the change every full moon, only it’s strength would be limited because they were not born into a pure-blood family such as I and my siblings.” Alec paused to collect his breath, taking the vial from the desk again to feel its cold touch in the palm of his hand. “But I have no intentions of dieing to achieve my goal.” He sighed. “So I shall use the same process my Great-Grandfather, Alexander the First, used for his wife-since she was only human-by using vials of my blood for replacement of the bite.” Alec lifted the journal in his other hand.

  “In this journal he recaps how he became the most powerful over the Children of the Night, a king even in the eighteen hundreds.

  Werewolves were considered a rare species among witches, gremlins, demons and all those belonging to Children of the Dark Moon, which made them the most looked down upon creatures of the Earth. Alexander brought the scattered and unorganized Werewolves together, a pack if you will, and made them one of the most feared creatures in his reign. But war broke out between some of the half-blood pack members over power and leadership which reduced our numbers even more.

  The pure-blood families, including ours, banded together and wiped out the rest of the dirty half-bloods, agreeing that their race was a disgrace to the Werewolf bloodline.”

  James walked over to the window, where lighting highlighted his figure. “Where are these pure-blood families now, Sir?”

  Alec placed the vial into the drawer with the rest, sliding it shut and locking it with the key from around his neck. “My little knowledge concludes that there is one located in France, and three other around the northern area of Russia. As far as I know, the Hilton Family is the only pure-blood pack still in the United States.”

  James stifled a yawn, trying to keep his master from seeing.

Alec came from behind, patting James’s shoulder. “Come now, James. I think it’s best we get some rest. We have a lot to plan for the next full moon.”

  James nodded. “I couldn’t agree more, Sir.” He held the door opened while Alec tidied his room a bit before leaving.

  “How are you to scratch your test subject without killing them first in the process?” James asked, running a hand over his white wispy hair.

  Alec smiled deviously. “Practice makes perfect, my dear James.” He said, turning off his desk lamp. James noted how his Master’s eyes cast a slight yellow glow in the dark. “Which we should know when the full moon rises again.”

  James turn to leave, but a thought struck him. “Sir, what shall we do about…” He didn’t continue, afraid that any mention of them would anger him.

  “Treat them like the rest, for now. For I seriously doubt they know their own strength yet.” Alec waved his question off with the flick of his hand.

 “But the witch almost completed the transitioning spell.” James dared argued.

The only surprise Alec showed was the slight rise in his eyebrows. He intertwined his fingers together, resting his chin on top of them, thinking.

 “Just make sure you have Fingersnap all around the mansion, that should keep her powers at bay for now, but I want you to keep a close eye on them, James.” Alec left the Study, heading towards his bedroom.

  “I shall do my very best.” James replied, closing his master’s study door quietly behind him.

Author's Note

Okay this is a rewrite from my previous versions, and I am try to smooth it out a bit.
Does this chapter make better sense now?

If not please tell me how I can fix any mistakes and improve it.

Reviews

[AK]

Dear Summer,
I would usually not go into such detailed criticism, but as you sent me a message to do so I shall. I hope I do not go overboard.


1. The whole chapter needs to be in the same tense. As you started of with simple past tense(watched, played, etc.) you should continue the /whole/chapter in the same tense. That would mean you would have to change words like 'this' in the second stanza to 'that', 'examining' to 'examined', 'watching' to 'watched' and so on. Try reading the whole chapter and convert everything into one common tense.


2. I guess the reason people are finding it confusing is because a lot of things are being talked about. The transition from one situation to another is not grasped easily by the readers. It is of course your choice, but you could probably try cutting down your sentences and briefly explain events or lengthen each event and make it bigger along with a slow smooth transition.


3. There is a very minute, almost dumb thing that I seemed to notice in this chapter, and if seen clearly and maybe edited at some points may enhance the flow. What I noticed was the use of passive voice in many instances instead of the more commonly used active voice. For example, you say-

"Alec's quiet laugh was drowned by the deafening thunder from above"

While most people would have probably said-

"The deafening thunder from above drowned Alec's quiet laugh"

It is of course a very personal opinion, but I feel that in some places, the latter might make the understanding cycle simpler. I feel that as Alec 'taunts' the thunder in the next line, it might read better if the clearly readable action of the thunder provoked it. Again, this is only an opinion.
4. I mean no offence Summer, but this chapter seems to lack action and energy. I have no idea how to do anything about it haha, but anyways...


That's all I have to say, I hope you find something useful in all that is written above:) and please accept my apologies if I've been rude; I really didn't mean to. Keep writing!
Akanksha

[AK]

I think it's amazing! Please update it soon!

[Wren]

No i think it should saty, otherwise we wouldnt know if she was a werewolf or not. THIS IS SO GOOD IT IS NOW STUNNINGLY AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!! It is so wel written, at the right pace and teh right amount of character development. JUST PERFECT!!
Please please please tell me when the next chapter comes out. I am dying to know!!!

[Summer D.]

I got the jist of it but I felt like I should've came out with much more. It's a hypocritical statement to say but I think you could be a bit more clearer with his explanation. You can still have the mysterious factor running along but it means nothing if the readers can't gain an ounce of comprehension. I think the pace is fine and it was a treat to see Alec once more. "I hate to admit that our species was not the smartest of them all, but we all have our pro’s and con’s." Pro's and con's seemed out of place for the somewhat out-dated feeling you get from him. Maybe another set of words to replace this?

This was a chapter chock-full of information, not the most thrilling but definitely setting up for something huge (I hope).

Fingersnap? I immediately thought ' chocolate '

Great chapter.

[The XYZ Writer]

Yeah, it is a little bit confusing. Hmmm, maybe try explaining it a little more slowly because it seems somewhat rushed. Explain the Creature of Night and the other things by making Alec sort of doing a recap of information with James, or something like that. Of course what I'm saying is just all suggestions and you don't really have to accommodate them if you don't want to.

There were some typos interfering with my reading that changed tenses, but I think you could fix those if you went over them. :)

Overall really Breezy, a lot has been given out in this chapter alone! I must applaud your amazingly imaginative and complex mind! *gives standing ovation*

[Ice Girl]

I wonder who are 'they'? Btw I just can't wait for the next chapter!!!! WRITE SOON!!!!