Prologue

Another nightmare is about to begin.

Prologue

Hilton Mansion

September 29^th

11:45 p.m.

 

Alec Hilton, heir to the Hilton Mansion and wealth, stood by the second story window of his study room.

 His outline would highlight every time the lightning outside flashed, the wind howling against the house, the lights flickering-threatening to go off.

 There was a almost silent tap on his study’s door, Alec never turned when he called “Enter.”

 Instead he watched the tree’s bare limbs stretch to the ground, almost claw like.

 

 James, the butler, entered his masters study room.

“Sir, it’s fifteen minutes till midnight,” Remarked James. “Shall I have the chains ready for you now?”

 Alec turned, he cast his eyes to the ground, deep in thought.

 

  “Sir?” James prompted. His master carefully ran a hand through his dark brown hair while taking slow steps to the door.

 Alec stopped just outside the door and turned to James.

 

“Yes, I suppose it’s time.” Were his few words before he continued down the hallway, James following in his wake.

 

 Hilton’s Mansion was now in possession of the seventh generation of the Hilton family, and-even with James nonstop care-was starting to show its age.

 Alec stepped lightly down the damp cellar stairs, the air heavy with the scent of mold, musk…and change.

 Alec could feel the electrical currents in the air as the time grew closer, he could feel it beckoning unto him, telling him to shed his human pelt into something stronger, faster…darker.

 

 Alec clenched his fist tightly, fighting the urge for a little while longer.

James stepped ahead and he opened one of the steel enforced doors in the cellar, motioning for him to enter.

 The room was no bigger than a average garage, the walls covered floor to ceiling with river rocks the size of a man’s head. Just an example of his ancestors’ work.

 James pulled a rope, opening a gate to the room and started to chain his master in four inch thick chains that were secured deeply into the cement floor below.

One clasp on each foot, two on his master’s arms.

 

 Alec stood steady from the two hundred pound chains hanging off him, he braced for the change, his face turned to the ceiling, eyes closed. All the while James stood behind the now closed steel gate, peering at his master. Even though he had seen him change more than a thousand times, James still resented the pain Alec had to face each time-physically and mentally.

Alec sighed.

 

“Something on your mind, Sir?” James asked him quietly.

 

Alec rolled his head, feeling the muscles tighten as he stretched. “Nothing I suppose.” He said. "It's just that I can’t help but think that I’m the only heir left in the Hilton family. Just knowing that once I’m gone all my family's memories shall be gone also, even their bloodline shall cease to be.” Alec shook his head in frustration.

 

 “Sir,” James spoke up. “If it shall matter anything to you, you can count on me to keep this house in running order for as long as I live.”

 

Alec chuckled softly. “That would be a long while then, wouldn’t it?” He flexed his hands. “And I’m proud to hear such loyalty, James.”

 

 “It’s the least I could do, master.” James replied with feeling, he glanced down at his watch. “One minute till, Sir.”

James twisted a second rope in his hands, the one that opened another gate out into the under ground tunnels before leading to the outside world.

“What is your plan then, Sir? If you care for me to ask.”

 

Alec arched his back, feeling new strength sink into his weak human flesh, a smile upon his lips.

“Well what little research my great-grandfather left me of our first descendents had showed me nothing of how we became. but, I’ve concluded a few thesis’ of how to create.”

 

“You mean…”James gasped, the rope shaking with his hands.

 

Alec turned his head toward James a chilling smile upon his lips as his cool blue eyes turned crimson, a dark laugh escaped his mouth. “I intend on keeping the family bloodline.” His teeth grew longer, more canine like while he changed dramatically from man to demonic beast.

 His stature becoming less human like and more wolf as hair split his skin. Hands and feet becoming paws, armed with four inch claws, muscle rippled from the beast’s body

 

 James pulled the rope just as the chains were torn apart and fell to the floor, the exit gate creaking open.

Alec took no time, speeding out through the tunnel and into the night air.

 

 “Godspeed my friend.” James said, releasing the rope. The gate clanged shut as howls pierced the forest, awaking a whole new nightmare.

Author's Note

Oh my gosh i'm sorry for all the mistakes! i wrote this late at night and i guess i wasn't paying any attention.

Thank you so much for taking the time to point all them out!

Due to Christmas holiday it may take awhile for the next chapter

*Recieved (Best Character) in the (Characters) contest
*Recieved (Sixth) in the (Master of Fiction: Part 1) contest
*Recieved (Fourth) in the (Teen Writing) contest
*Recieved (Amazing!) in the (+ Dark Fantasy +) contest

Reviews

[Jamie Raintree]

This is a great start! It's so ominous and mysterious. I like the way you lead into the fact that he's a werewolf instead of making it obvious to begin with. I love the character of James who is so loyal. It makes me wonder why he's okay with it, how he knows about it, etc. And it's so well written. I felt like I was reading this right out of the pages of a book. Love it!

[JRB]

fix what was stated and keep up the writes

[13ReasonsWhy]

loved it! keep writing!

[Team_Jaward_Gale]

really a rough draft besides a few sppelling errors its great

[Egress]

The story is interesting in itself, but noticed several grammatical problems I think you might want to know.
" James, the Hilton family’s butler, entered his masters study room.
“Sir, it’s fifteen minutes till midnight.” Remarked James."
Point one-- You can safely assume that readers will know that the butler will be the Hilton's, so you can say, "James, the butler, ..."
And the dialogue tag:
"Sir, it's fifteen minutes till midnight," remarked James." You only use full stop when the following sentence is not a tag, like this:
"I'm not sure what you're trying to say." Alexa crossed her arms.

And in this passage, "faster,…darker." you can choose either the comma or the ellipse, because both right next to each other looks rather awkward.

The quality of the rest is good, I expect more from you.

[A. L. Allen]

Wow, very dark and sinister. You did a very good job pulling me in. I can't wait to read more!

I did find a few mistakes; mostly grammatical, but I'll point them out so that you don't have to do the work yourself. :)

First off, the time at the very beginning. You say that it's 12:45 pm, but then James comes in and says that it's fifteen minutes till midnight. I think you meant at the beginning that it was 11:45.

Paragraph 1: You wrote down 'lighting', but I think you meant 'lightning'.

Paragraph 2: "James prompt, his master carefully ran a hand through his dark brown hair while taking slow steps to the door." Split this into two sentences, since you're switching the subjects. And 'prompt' should be 'prompted'

Paragraph 5: "telling him to shed his human pelt into something more stronger, faster,…darker." If you want to keep "stronger, faster,... darker" in those same tenses, get rid of the word 'more'. It makes it awkward. However, if you want to keep 'more' in there, change the tense to "strong, fast,... dark".

Paragraph 9: "But I can’t help but think that I’m the only heir left in the Hilton family." Too many 'buts' in here. I would suggest getting rid of the second 'but' and changing the tense of 'think' to 'thinking'.

Paragraph 10: "If it shall madder anything to you, you can count on me to keep this house in running order for as long as I live." 'madder' is misused. That word denotes making someone more mad. 'Matter' is whether or not something is important to you.

Paragraph 13: "Well what little research my great-grandfather left me of our first descendents had showed me nothing of how we became but I’ve concluded a few thesis’ from what little I know of how to create." Put a comma between' became' and 'but'.

Last paragraph: "The gate clanged shut as howls pierce the forest, awaking a whole new nightmare." Switch of tenses here. Since the rest of your story is in the past tense, I would suggest changing 'pierce' to 'pierced'.

Other than those small things, the story was overall amazing. You've captured my attention in just a few paragraphs. Your descriptions are superb, and I'm very excited to read more.

Amazing job!