What was it for

Have you ever thought of the past
thinking why it didn't last
how the memories pass so fast
if you leaving
failed the kill me
then I don't need you
to heal me
You were my everything
was I ever the same
to you when you hear my name
would you think of us
or was it just your game
to block out
all the pain
of being alone
it's 5am
but you're never home
out partying
covering the fact
you feeling alone
that's why
you have a boy
but you still appear in my phone

Now I'm gone
baby, so long
I need to continue to write my song
without you
never knew how to
put it into words
to describe where it hurts
it's not about that
no more
let it out the door
I wonder
what was all my effort for
from love notes
to love books
bed shook
to making it rain
mr carter singing the hook
as we drowned in love
heaven above
turns out
no doubt
you're not the person
I thought to be the one
that I would run
to chase the moon and the sun

baby
we were long done
but you try to mend it
I can't pretend it
doesn't make me sad
how you actually are
maybe I'm just mad
feeling abit used

It's not my place to comment
but
was I just another lantern
in your collection
of not able being independent
After you called me
I refused to answer where we stand
I hope you understand
why I didn't answer you
but you
went on onto your
low self esteem mode
and that was code
for you to commit to the new guy
like never before
what the hell
was all the 'i love you's for ?