Revenge

Fever burned on the lips of a girl.

Her smile was beaten out of her world.

Her last pleasant memory lay on the end of a blade.

Her last hope at escape was finally made.

She picked up her life from the shreds on the ground.

So she could leave all together without making a sound.

It was planned very carefully in the depths of the night.

And she only had one chance to get it all right.

Sneak past the door holding her breath.

To face him again would be worse than her death.

Into the bathroom on the second shelf.

Just where she left it, the answer to her hell.

All that she needed was her last goodbye.

So she screamed to her God, “Please, let me die!”

And as the footsteps came closer she fell to the floor.

Smiles returned as he walked through the door.

The sound that he made pleased her so much.

She died very happy from the cold razors touch.

Reviews

[Last Lying Look]

aw this is sad but I like it. Good work!

[Brette Medb]

This has the potential to be very good but having a period at the end of almost every sentence halts the flow and doesn't allow ideas to be finished. You could use commas to link ideas together. The rhyme was off in some places because certain words were either too long or there were too many words in a particular line. Other than those details the overall poem and imagery were pretty good. Nice write.


Brette