Messiahnistic B*****d

You’re taking on the crevices of my Christian heart

Yes, You with the hair I cannot run my fingers through

I say it time and time again that we’re light enough to walk on

Each breath in is like a hiccup with you

I can’t get enough but it will suffice

Cigarette and caffeine burns scar your skeletal track marks

Like stigmata on a junkie.

That downtrodden gaze south at me is heaven sent.

Your radioactive eyes foreshadow my Rapture.

But I’m too busy wrapped up in this rapture between my gasps of air.

Your coke lips crack open to smile at a man panhandling

Yesterday’s coffee cup with holes from the hobo’s Fido

You clasp his right hand like you’ve done to many before.

With gaping jaw his eyes rise 6’5” high to make contact.

You bend forward and place a $10 in his cup.

He tries to say “God Bless”, the words never come –

But you knew that already.

As you nuzzle my cheek with your crooked nose I whisper

I will be your Mags forever.

My palm prays to yours as we ascend the stairs

To the gates and bright white lights.

 

Author's Note

Comment on anything you feel isn't working or is working. It's definitely not finished. I know I break my metaphor in some places. Anything to help me with this would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Reviews

[deathcabxcutiex]

one a second reading, i think everything flows nicely. great imagery, once again. however, the line about "radioactive eyes" made me stop-- I like that line, but not the word "radioactive" -- I like that parts of this poem are like grotesque beauty, but I feel there should be something more capturing about the eyes, something that draws you in and doesn't let you go, "radioactive" makes me think of a repellent. maybe I'm just crazy.

favorite lines:
As you nuzzle my cheek with your crooked nose I whisper
I will be your Mags forever.
My palm prays to yours as we ascend the stairs
To the gates and bright white lights.

[deathcabxcutiex]

surface comments-- read "By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept" ... man, this reminded me of that something fierce. we shall discuss this more in full.

[Legion]

Very descriptive. Love the poem as well as the title you chose (although I thought you were talking about me for a moment there). :) Good work.