Eccentric Closet W****s (i.e. Mr. Smith)

I fought with the idea of keeping the poem's subject anonymous but decided to keep it the way it was originally written (but I like the new title too!). Whether the inspiration of this poem reads this or not, I hope he knows he's dope and this is a joke!

I am ashamed to say

that I

find solice

in envying your ability to

squeeze into skinny jeans and look better than

I.

 

With neon green sunglasses

and ever present facial hair,

you look like

a hobo.

 

And as I write to you on a

keyboard that is our 

only source of friendship I

wonder what possesses you to wear

gold

spandex

pants.

 

You, the ferosh

fashionisto who walks

the halls of Dick Stock

with your

white jeans and

suspenders.

 

Are you in need of a

queer eye or a straight

jacket?

 

How many

licks to the center

of Chris Smith?

The world may never know...

Author's Note

it needs work so please critique it. I changed it a couple times.

Thanks!

Reviews

[Engulfed in Flames]

kudos...

"And as I write to you on a
keyboard that is our
only source of friendship"

wonderful line....beautiful.

the poem is very vivid, I may know someone like Mr. Smith...

[Tim McGovern]

Queer eye or strait jacket was great, very clever.
On the whole I think the first verse lacks the venom of the rest, if nothing else maybe edit it down so that it's a quick burst, like the other verses.
The cell phone verse could probably be taken out...it doesn't add a bite like the others.

A good write, very clever, well paced, work with it some and see if you can make it razor sharp.

Namaste'
Tim

[Andromeda]

i like it!

[thecoolone52]

hahha that was pretty funny... a good humor way to kind of make fun of someone.... with out cursing i guess.... nice poem i enjoyed it!!! But i have facial hair so i dont know about the hobo part hahahaha just playing nice write