Requiem

Finally here, I walk up the steps cautiously,
each step feeling heavier with your burden.
The frailty in your embrace broke my courage far too fast.
I should not be here.

We follow timidly as you shuffle to the family room.
Photographs are strewn across a canvas of carpet,
your life laid out in glossy prints across a peach flooring.
I glimpse into the faces of giggling first days and family reunions.

One snapshot finds its way to the top of the pile in a plea for attention.
Time had stopped you at four with an outdoor setting of streamers.
As you draw in breath to blow out candles,
his eyes smile on the buttercreamed concoction, or is it you?

His jeans are dirt beaten and hang loose on his slender body.
The collared shirt with stripes hugging his shoulders is worn in the elbows.
He stands tall and proud, with a Newport Slim pressed between his lips.
There is a stream of smoke barely seen in this freeze framed perfect picture.

I think about this as I watch the smoke rise from your hand 16 years later.
The mannerisms mirror your former all the way down to the pensive smile.
However, your nic fix proves painful, each drag emitting embers into the cold air.
Your exhale and ashes float softly and mix among the flakes in the chilled wind.

This snow, a sign of peace, is not comforting you any more than our hesitant words,
its small fragments pile up around your feet until it becomes a heaping reminder.
It repeats the sentiment that beneath this lofty blanket of blissful powder is a cold truth.
Your only ally against this thought is Evan as he warms you to the core.

Beam and Daniels would work just fine but Williams holds your heart.
It is the one sweet woody flavor that cements him to your memory.
Evan warms the empty place and you can feel serenity as the heat travels south.
The smile slowly grows across your face and I know we finally belong.

To share in this flood of memories causes my hands to flutter.
It’s no longer the bourbon who hugs you, but the arms of your forefathers and we. Holding you close, you know you have brothers and sisters in us.
His niche will never be filled, but we fill the other places with comfort and safety.

In this teary triumph I thumb the button in my pocket as I pull my camera out.
Although this will never make it to the memorial, it remains in your possession.
We live this moment in the memory of your loss and support you under each arm.
Stumbling to the couch, you whisper words of thanks drowned out by whiskey breath.

As we slide into the cushioned seats, I know we are home and enveloped in velveteen.
You no longer look sorrowful, but nostalgic with each thought of his laugh and presence.
Celebrating the legs you’ve gained in the struggle to move on to tomorrow, we stay.
There is no place else I should be.

Reviews

[deathcabxcutiex]

B-e-a-utiful. The imagery is amazing and you have no right to say you can't write!! :oP
The way you write brings back a flood of memories from my own past, and somehow I felt I was there with you, too. Amazing. Keep it up, Hea-nayyyyy.

Favorite lines:
The frailty in your embrace broke my courage far too fast.
I should not be here.

This snow, a sign of peace, is not comforting you any more than our hesitant words

Beam and Daniels would work just fine but Williams holds your heart.
It is the one sweet woody flavor that cements him to your memory.
Evan warms the empty place and you can feel serenity as the heat travels south.
The smile slowly grows across your face and I know we finally belong.

Celebrating the legs you've gained in the struggle to move on to tomorrow, we stay.
There is no place else I should be.