Lets do the human thing.

A sadistic outlook on ones distaste.

your voice was shaking and your body was weak.

your bones were shattering and you could barely stand.

you did all that you could to stand up straight;

to pretend that you had the slightest bit of confidence,

but we all knew there was nothing there.

you never were much of anything.

a pile of dust that blew away with the wind.

Author's Note

i was aiming for a simple feel. let me know your what you think. :)x

Reviews

[Tony]

Excellent.

We see people who are pathetic and we feel empathy, and often support or rationalize elements of the given situation, so as to not appear reptilian in front of our peers.
But we also think,
"what a waste of space."

Well, that is my interpretation, correct me if I am wrong.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

amazing imagery imbued with emotives one can almost touch~ in its subtle approach the poetic breathes with poignancy~ deeply moving write~

[( itsbiancaduhh ]]

i like the fact that it was simple but yet deep . i feel as tho i can relate
. love it .

[Abigail T]

oh my goodness. yes, it was very simple, but in the most perfect way. this piece really spoke to me, because it is something I'm afraid of becoming. I love the concept of bones shattering relating to self-hatred.

beautiful piece!

[ali]

I love the title, and the sense of finally figuring out that someone is a complete sham. I like its simplicity but do agree with alicante that there should maybe be a broader word choice in order for the sentences to flow better.

Also, thank you so much for reviewing my story :)

[....]

i can feel the lonliness in this. wonderful write

[Alicante lullaby]

i'd wish you increase the word size,it makes the reading a bit uncomfy but the poem,i love it...