Pain

Yet again, just putting random words running through my head to paper..enjoy! :)

hear my cries

thru the rain

my heart breaks

too much pain

 

how long this lasts

i have no clue

all i know

is i need you

 

my heart is tearing

i feel like dying

inside im screaming

outside just crying

 

sick of all the lies and games

tired of trying to make things right

alone again with my pain

i give up without a fight

Author's Note

ignore grammar and capitalization..i wrote it like that on purpose. umm...other than that, ya'll know the drill: rate, review, etc. thanks!!

Reviews

[Michael]

I think you have a well balanced work here. I really like the turn in the last Stanza. I like poems than end with a powerful emotion. Give us much to think on.

Think about changing the first line of it to something like "just sick, sick of the lie, the game" It is just a thought to get rid of the pluralized rhyme.

[alternative_be]

I pretty much agree with Michael, I like this poem because of the strong ending... But I would not change the beginning. In my opinion it is perfect the way you've written it!

I hope you are feeling better now!

[alternative_be]

I pretty much agree with Michael, I like this poem because of the strong ending... But I would not change the beginning. In my opinion it is perfect the way you've written it!

I hope you are feeling better now!

[alternative_be]

I pretty much agree with Michael, I like this poem because of the strong ending... But I would not change the beginning. In my opinion it is perfect the way you've written it!

I hope you are feeling better now!