A best friend's sudden, unexplained departure from ones life hurts and haunts bad...This piece has been written in relevance to that same feeling of nothingness and the void caused by a good friend's departure.
Feel free to express how you feel after reading this piece.All reviews and suggestions are much welcomed😊
Note: * This is not "A personal write based on actual incident, it is just a non fiction, imaginative poem.
* If you've any suggestions regarding the editing, please do the sincere favor of sending me in my inbox, I'll much appreciate that.But please don't type it the comments/review section.
Thankyou for stopping by, reading and reviewing this piece, I muchly appreciate your time :)
-Saumya.
My Review
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Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces
And we were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know
The day you went away
The day you went away
Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
The day you went away
The day you went away
when i read your poem i got the same emotion when i listen to this song
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Wow! This is exactly similar in meaning of my poem, Abraham!😊
I applaud you for posting th.. read moreWow! This is exactly similar in meaning of my poem, Abraham!😊
I applaud you for posting this here,
Is this a lyrics if any song, or your own crafted piece btw?
I really like this one *smiles*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_He.. read moreIts one of my fav song- sharing the link for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_HekkBbd1M
7 Years Ago
Thanx again for sharing the link, I heard the song just now, and that's indeed a very meaningful and.. read moreThanx again for sharing the link, I heard the song just now, and that's indeed a very meaningful and relatable one, Abraham :)
I'll see if I can add it somewhere on this page *smile*
What a profoundly moving voice, like music singing over us of friendship, of the joy that comes in the sunrise of it, and the aching storm that presses us down when a good friend is lost back into the world. Yes, the ghosts linger, always there waiting to haunt us again. Powerful, poignant words, dear Saumya.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thankyou so much! This was indeed a thoughtful review :) I'm glad you liked the piece.
A super sweet, emotional and beautiful write....
It impacts someone alot when his/her loved one is not there with them... to help them deal with life and be with them in happy moments....
Well done, keep it up Saumya! :))
It really hurts when someone very close leaves us. You have expressed your emotions really well.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thankyou for sharing your thoughts Najam, I agree with you & thankyou for the review too, I much app.. read moreThankyou for sharing your thoughts Najam, I agree with you & thankyou for the review too, I much appreciate it :)
Critique: (Those laughter,) that laughter - the plural demonstrative "Those" is modifying the singular noun "laughter"
(Oh! How bright were those days.) Your sentence appears to be a question, but does not end with a question mark.
Review: I love the first line and the theme of your poem. The rhyme scheme is simple but effective as they relate the emotion to your readers. I am not a fan of the short choppy sentence structure, to me it effects the flow (but it may just be me because I see many people do it). Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
Thankyou for pointing out the grammatical mistakes, bear.I'edited the piece,hope there isn't an erro.. read moreThankyou for pointing out the grammatical mistakes, bear.I'edited the piece,hope there isn't an error now..In case, if there's still any editing required, let me know.
I'm glad you liked the theme of this piece and also the simplicity of the rhyme scheme, and as for the choppy sentences, even I don't like them much, but this is a random piece that came in my mind, and I wrote all I could, honestly...You won't believe I wasn't even sure of what could the ending to this poem be when I initially started writing it :) I feel somethines it is more of the eloquence in a piece that matters, :) I tried to work on those sentences, but the present version of this piece is exactly the degree of justice I could do to it *smile*
Thanks for the review,and those 4 claps, I much appreciate it 😊
7 Years Ago
Oh I understand I often will set with paper and pencil without a thought in my head and a phrase wil.. read moreOh I understand I often will set with paper and pencil without a thought in my head and a phrase will pop into my mind and the next thing I know I am half way through a poem I didn't even know I was writing :~)
7 Years Ago
Haha..Sure, you should!😊
This piece of mine exactly happened this way...But yes, the phra.. read moreHaha..Sure, you should!😊
This piece of mine exactly happened this way...But yes, the phrase that comes in your mind when you start, should be a strong one *smile*
Thats something I also have written in the same context :) now thats really amazing the thoughts actually matched!
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Yepz What a coincidence, Pragati!😀😊 Maybe this is why I could actually relate well with your p.. read moreYepz What a coincidence, Pragati!😀😊 Maybe this is why I could actually relate well with your piece.
Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces
And we were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know
The day you went away
The day you went away
Why do we never know what we've got 'til it's gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I've been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
The day you went away
The day you went away
when i read your poem i got the same emotion when i listen to this song
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Wow! This is exactly similar in meaning of my poem, Abraham!😊
I applaud you for posting th.. read moreWow! This is exactly similar in meaning of my poem, Abraham!😊
I applaud you for posting this here,
Is this a lyrics if any song, or your own crafted piece btw?
I really like this one *smiles*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_He.. read moreIts one of my fav song- sharing the link for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_HekkBbd1M
7 Years Ago
Thanx again for sharing the link, I heard the song just now, and that's indeed a very meaningful and.. read moreThanx again for sharing the link, I heard the song just now, and that's indeed a very meaningful and relatable one, Abraham :)
I'll see if I can add it somewhere on this page *smile*
Hi all:)
this is me....Saumya
well, i don't have much to tell you all about me..
but yes to start with,
I love writing & painting.(you can find some of my paintings in the "my photos" section of.. more..