The Puppies..

One morning,

when i stood behind

my window,

enjoying the cool breeze,

and the delicate morning sunshine,

I saw something

really fine,

which i'd simply

love to define....

I saw the puppies,

one and two and three and four,

all sitting

in front of my door..

One was white,

the other black,

one was brown,

and the other

white, with some black spots

over his body and head..

They looked lovely,

as all animal's kids normally do,

but it was 

their little faces, innocent eyes,

and tiny toes which made them

really sweet..

I couldn't stop,

seeing them from far,

so ran downstairs

to see them 

more clearly than from far..

but oh! i saw their mother,

standing beside those four,

filled with anger,

till her nose..

as if warning saying,

no need to come close..

Later that day,

when i saw their mother,

not present their anymore,

I went near them,

and saw them playing,

and some, even

biting each others toes..

I put some chapattis,

for them to eat,

but sadly, they couldn't,

as they didn't had teeth..

Each time when i 

went near them,

they came running to me,

licking my feet,

as if they waited for me

to play with them,

whenever i was free...

And being with them,

really made me pleased..

At evenings

when the children played,

these four eagerly ran behind them

to play,

and this at times,

made the kids

really afraid...

When children used to play

with the ball,

they grabbed it

in their little mouths and feet,

and passed it on to all...

and the game turned

even more interesting overall..

We named those four,

by four great names,

Jack, Joe, Peter, and Jane..

They hated chapattis,

but loved the candies,

that we fed them with,

again and again..

They enjoyed with us,

the most they could..

and we loved them all,

more than anyone else would..

Days passed, and they grew big,

but they are as great,

as they always stood,

even more than that, before they would

and much more than, a human ever would...

They guard our house,

in our absence

and detered unknown creatures 

from entering there..

Just some chapattis,and

sweet candies,

and our bond became

so strong and happy..

Lots of love,

to those little puppies

who taught us

how should a human be,

caring, lovely, sweet,and

above all,

the most faithful creature indeed... 

Author's Note

i hope you enjoyed reading this...
i would be really happy if you will review and rate it:)
regards,
saumya

Reviews

[Astro]

This is a gorgeous tale about puppies and the love that humans share with animals, dogs in particular. The beginning of your poem is really good, I was kind of sad when the rhyming disappeared but the story you describe in great imagery is solid and makes for a nice read. Grammatically, this is one of your better writes for sure. In this line the verb tense should be changed, "didn't had teeth.." to "didn't 'have' teeth.." and your use of the word "abstain" isn't really appropriate because it means 'stay away from' and not 'keep away from' which is more of what you were going for. I suggest: dissuade, discourage or deter maybe if you want to go even simpler, 'stop'.

All in all a very nice poem Saumya

[Saumya]

Thank you soo much Astro:) really glad you liked it:)

[Ency Bearis]

Much enjoyed and fun to read, a great tale.

[annie lee]

Very sweet. I am a pushover for puppies and kittens, as are many folk. But puppies grow up and become dogs -- just as babies grow up to be people. And that is where we become less soft, more discriminating. I really like dogs, but I do not care for living with them in my house. I am a cat person.

[SteveB]

A lovely read. I enjoyed all of the very specific details that brought the scene to life. Thank you.

[Jack...]

Very much fun to read my friend. I love puppies.

[Balkaran Sidhu]

Ah so lovely... love puppies and dogs..and animals...the little puppies that you portrayed..touched my heart :) and licked my soul :p :D

[Chris]

It is appropriate to correct unintended flaws - especially when a reader took the effort to find them for you. Stories... are a poet's strong point. You spoke well and were heard - flaws and all.

[Dana Alsamsam]

you are getting a better command of the language and it is lovely to see you develop as a writer! i myself wish i had some dogs but unfortunately my parents don't like them and most apartments in the city don't let you have pets. all the same i love them!

[icelandicblue]

How sweet. I love dogs and how can you not love puppies.

[emmajoy]

I've two dogs, love them to pieces, so, of course I love your poem.. it's sincere and generous and well worth reading twice or more. We can learn a lot from puppies, dogs, mostly perhaps about what loyalty means, As long as we treat them decently, dogs give without question or finding fault. Your words show the same, Saumya.
Re. your writing, you're gradually finding specific meter and using a broader vocabulary. Wonderful.

[Saumya]

thank you so much dear...:)