me inside.

fears. WHY

F**K!

why do i never get the happy ending? i never get what i need, i always settle for less. why can't you love me? hell, why doesn't anybody love me? i'll take anything at all! i need something, something, what is it, that feeling, light as feathers, tenderly brushing my lips, every nerve in my body sensitive like a live wire! i ache for that!

DAMN!

or maybe just, anything to work for! my head has succumbed to the dull ache inside it every day, i feel like im plodding through everything, never getting anywhere. i feel ridiculous. i stayed outside today for hours, pushing myself to run further, lose more weight, the world reverberated violently in the corners of my eyes while tears stung them. i tried to remember what my therapist told me, no more overexercising. i just need the weight to melt away, like the pain.

but what pain.

S**T!
just a neverending, nagging little pain, telling me that i'm alright, but never good enough, and the world looks at me with disdain, "smh" at the little girl who tried. who tries and tries and tries but defeats herself, and i am ultimately left alone, wishing longing.

...

wondering what it is this time that i've done wrong.

WHY

Author's Note

hmph.

Reviews

[aristocrat]

the happy ending is a matter of perspective. perhaps this is part of the journey to the happy ending. Stop and enjoy the journey. I very much enjoy your writing Sash.