Best Broken

This nonfiction piece was written by me about losing a best friend and struggling with it. I highly suggest reading this if you relate to it because I know how hard it can be. Stay strong.

    Now and then I find myself thinking on the negative side of things.  In fact, this occurs more often than the positives.  Human nature is but a science that will never be completely learnt or understood.  The capacity of our brain does not have enough power to understand itself or others like it.  We as humans become so dependent on those around us.  Our friends become closer until they are our single source of happiness and pleasure.  As we feel the connection grow our hearts grow too, making us a better version of ourselves.  We learn to rely on others solely for the sense of being alive.  

    But what do we do when something rips away at that bond?  Like a razor blade against our skin, our hearts break open and bleed all over the floor around us.  Our new-found unhappiness swallows us whole and does not let us out.  It is as if we cannot breathe as we lose our entire being.  We lose the being we based ourselves on, and crumble to nothing.

    Worse, the one who has left us found a new light.  We are nothing but a burnt bulb that needs immediate replacing.  And once we are replaced, there is no going back.  The lost friend is gone, happy with their very new life.  But you are not the only one feeling sad, or angry.  That friend feels it too, like an ocean of discontent.  And as they struggle to swim they pull you down with them, but leave you there to die drowning.  They step all over your fragile, valuable being until you have lungs and eyes as full as the cold ocean.  He or she now goes out of his or her way to show you just how well they are doing without you.  You ask yourself what happened because you remember the person who used to go out of their way to make you smile.  To hear your laugh.  To make you feel better, not worse.

    You think that you’re now alone.  You have nothing, and nobody left.  You lost your one and only best friend to the wind and will never find another that is quite as good.  But I’m here to tell you that you are very wrong about that.  The person working extra hard to make you feel beneath the ground is not worth nearly that amount of effort.  Never work harder to mend something that is broken than the person who is breaking it in the first place.

    And don’t you dare give up because someone has walked out of your life.  Chances are that this was better for the both of you.  Holding on to something that is pulling you down underwater and making you sad is like drowning yourself on purpose.  If you feel like doing so, I want you to stop right there.  You need to hear of your own worth first.  While you may be sad right now, or even feel depressed, you need to listen to this right here.  You miss that best friend because they showed you beautiful things in life.  They made you happy and you learned some new things about yourself on the way.  Meditate the question of whether those things are really gone with the person you lost.  You will lose many people in your life, for better or for worse.  However, I call upon you to realize that just because you lost the person does not mean that you lost the experience and knowledge you gained while associated with him or her.  The beauty of life is that you can always keep learning from experience.  All of the good and bad you learned in this portion of your life will stick with you forever. And my friend, it will only improve who you are.  Accept the fact that you are no longer the person you thought you were with that so-called friend.  You are greater now.  Appreciate that person for all they have showed and taught you.  They improved your base of knowledge and you grew from this.  You will keep growing.  

    Some are more hurt than you are when they lose you.  They desperately grasp for some sort of comfort to hold onto, else they fall into their own dark hole of sorrow and regret.  You are lucky.  You don’t need that validation from an outside source to realize that you are just as defined by perfection as you were before.  Need not their jealousy get to you.  You need to keep walking forward because all they want you to do is fall into a black pool of water and never return.  Show them that you will return, with not a mark or a second thought about it.  Show this person and your replacement that you are above their criticism and dismay.  You are your own person, and nobody, absolutely nobody is to define who you are.  So go my friend, take all of your experiences with you.  Pack your suitcase full of them and bring them to the next learning experience you visit.  Bring everything with you except for the one who tried to take you from yourself.