Mother

This poem is about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother and stepfather.

Painful cuts against my skin,

the switch is now digging in.

With each strike I look to see,

if you have any love for me.

 

Your empty eyes,

your words cut deep.

A fearful soul,

I try to sleep.

 

My nights are filled with fear and hate,

he comes to take my soul away...

I did not say this was okay!

How could you not know he came to me?

I think you allowed it all to be.

 

You sacrificed my life away,

why did you have me anyway?

You always said you hated me,

yet you had me...what was I meant to be?

 

My fearful cries did not make you stop,

no hugs,

no smiles,

no love, EVER.

Your fists of rage were all I knew.

 

Through all these years,

I've lived in hate,

revenge and thoughts I can't escape.

To see you pay for my blood that spilled,

on floors and walls and sheets, yet still.

 

How dare you think you can cause me pain?

There's a price to pay, and it will come one day.

But words will never take away,

the pain you inflicted in many ways.

 

You gave me up to free yourself,

children are not disposable,

or to be put on a shelf,

I am flesh and blood and life itself,

but you threw it all away.

 

The days I'd run just to feel free,

I went to a place where you couldn't hurt me.

The trees and plants and birds were my home,

there, I was never alone.

I found a peace inside of me,

and it came from being.... just me.

 

How sad that you could never feel,

a child's love, which makes life so real.

A hug or kiss or smile from me,

would of made anyone else happy.

You lost out on love I shared,

now I give it to my boys, because I care.

 

That's one thing I did not learn from you,

loving was something you could not do,

how sad for you to live a loveless life,

today I am a mother and wife.

I know love and it is grand,

like holding my little boys hands.

 

One thing you can never take away,

is ME, for I am, your legacy.

I love my boys with kisses and hugs,

I am a mother.

I am in love.

 

Someday little grand kids will bounce on my knee,

and I'll think, this love is because of me.

 

When I look at my sons I see all the light,

I searched for, in all of the dark nights,

for love was coming but I couldn't see,

the love I would grow, inside of me.

 

Author's Note

My poetry books are available at Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=sr_gnr_aps?rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Aconnie+mccaffery&keywords=connie+mccaffery&ie=UTF8&qid=1446504152

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad and beautiful story in the poem that ended with a positive ending.
"Someday little grand kids will bounce on my knee,
and I'll think, this love is because of me."
I had AWOL parent. I was raised by kind Grandparent. I learn we are the teachers of love and kindness. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote