The Sinner

Temptation gets the best of us

 Forgive me god for i have sinned.

This temptation of mine, i always give in. 

I cant help myself , its a serious problem.

Is there something wrong with me god?

Why do i do it ?

Why do i not have the strength?

To stop what i'm doing and just back away.

Does this mean i'm weak ?

I don't want to be weak god, it doesn't feel right.

I feel like a bad person,i never win the fight.

The battle to say no, i just want to go .

Just start over again , my whereabouts, no one will know. 

Maybe if i start fresh , i will soon pass the test .

To have the sin in front of me and just once not like what i see.

To just raise my head and turn the other cheek.

Maybe this time ill just say no...

Reviews

[Norie]

That's a pretty heartfelt prayer. I take it you're having a tough time with something in your life. Being young can be very hard and life is seldom easy. Just remember to have strength and to persevere. If something is tempting you and you know that it is wrong to give in, maybe call a friend who understands. I've heard that the divine often acts through proxies; placing people, things or events in someone's path, that will help them when they really need it. So, designate someone in your life to be your lifeline, someone who understands. When temptation comes calling, get in touch with them so they can help you resist.

Now that I have said that, I'm going to comment on this poem. I hope that's okay with you.

One thing you should always do when writing is to capitalize the things that need it, such as "I". Whenever "I" stands alone, it should be capitalized. You also have a lot of unnecessary spaces in this piece, both before commas and after words. They aren't needed and may be jarring to some readers, disrupting what is otherwise a well flowing sentence or stanza. Finally, "God", as you're using it in this piece, is a proper noun and should be capitalized. If you were talking about multiple gods or saying that it is "a god", then capitalization would be unneeded.

Aside from those things I listed, this poem is pretty good. Also, people I have met that seem to have faith say that God always answers our prayers, even if it's in a way we don't expect or not immediately when we want help.

I hope things get better for you.

Rated 85/100 for the minor mistakes.

[David Burke]

once again another amazing performance by the words of a genius :P

[Sarah Lynn]

Oh shtopppp itt!:p

[David Burke]

I can't stop telling the truth lol I hate lying :P