"An Evening Of December"

A story about how love waits.

• It was silent foggy winter evening of December, & like my past, I was just standing behind the window and was looking at the sky. Curtains in my hands, Dreams in open eyes... I'v lost somewhere in the deep thinking about my past my life timeline. And my mind & heart was living those memories again.. When I was young foolish girl. All mornings, I wake up, thinking about my life, I have been killed through time, I am young but old inside, as everybody I was always looking for my complemental side, I was a silent person but my mind was the most noisy dimension, I was like to spend so much time watching the sky and admiring all the beauty of nature outside. I was living far from the ground level realities of this mean world. I was seriously not at all aware that the world I'm living in.. can be that much Horrible, Painful & unexpected sometimes ... Every morning after waking up, always my heart was asking me, "Why I'm here ?" 'for what I'm here... ?" but I was unable to find someone there to answer me.

I have faith in self realisation and my heart realised and accepted a soul full of ethics inside me. My soul was much far from the typical colourful celebrations of Life.

It was always in search of something different unexpected...

& in that way, I was happy 'with my dreams' .. 'in my dreams'. Whatever it was, & living in dreams was really pleasant even I was aware that I'm much far from reality. and it will be Bad for me.

Everyone thinks sometime about, Why people like we are dreaming ? Ever this came to your mind. May be yes or no. But, this fact was always in my mind. 'Cause I was a Dreamer. The things which we want to get or gain with our deep interest. But we become unable to get them in reality. It becomes our Dream. & to satisfy ourselves we always try to imagining about that. Yeah of'course , We people always expecting a little bit magic as we know that whatever we are thinking is just our imagination but still somewhere our heart is whispering that what if... ? What if it will become true. We become hopeful that may be one day it will be true. & I was in The Hope.

• I well remember that time.., When I was in love with someone very special in my life. I was that much serious in this feelings that on a few moments, I was forgetting myself. & was also forgetting a fact that "truth is bitter" .. Realised later.. Yeah, I was in extreme love with my Someone else.. , But I was also aware that He were not mine. But in 'The Madness of Love' I never cared much about this, & the dedication of my love for him was enough to keep loving him always without caring that "He is mine or not" I really didn't want any response from him. I was just like to Hugging Him every night in my imaginations, I was searching His face in Moon & was thinking about him while looking at the waves of Ocean.
• I also Remember that time, When my Father saying me, " Don't live in Dreams and imaginations. They will be destroy you one day. 'cause you don't know how to live in this world. You've to bear many things in your life. And that time, I was taking these words very carelessly. and it was my Big Mistake.

Who knows the future. May be it will happen in reality & trust me on that moment it was feeling heavenly even it was just an imagination. But still it was enough make me feel luckiest on that time. But now after many years, When I'm not a Dreamer Girl. Now I'm a women, Someone's dignity, a wife, & a mother. After facing a lot of ups & downs of life. After knowing 'The Truth of Life' and experiencing relations. Now I was also liable for my Children as well. I am able to see age wrinkles on my face. Which shows my maturity with growing age on this stage of life.. I'm thinking that somewhere my young age dreams were my wrong decision. Reality is quite different than our thinking. I was Mad.
If I am stable this time, If everyone calls me a Strong woman now, so It's just 'cause of My God's help. I know He is with me, and I know that, 'Life is nothing'.