It's not last Goodbye...!

A Story by sarahiq111

A typical love story

- He remember that day when he opened his eyes an unknown morning after having a strange dream. He was unaware about everything for a while. There were some questions who were running in his mind like a chaos, "Who am i? What i am doing here? Why were I born? What's the reason behind it? What's the place is this?" And many more questions was running in his mind. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again to being stable and to knowing himself back. He was suffering from this situation since eight years. He used to ask these type of questions in his class and from his parents too. But they all were taking him non seriously. After that, he took bath and then he sat silently near the window with the cup of coffee and he did lose himself again somewhere in those thoughts... Sometimes, He was forget about himself just for a while, and then he was look at himself and place for knowing himself back like "It's you Alan or who..?" He was curious 'cause of this strange situation he was suffering from since many time. Sometimes while doing something or after taking a nap he was forget about himself for a while and then some questions were running in his mind like that.
  He was a Professional Successful Guy, living in his own compartment with his pet. He left his family a year ago. He was tired of being kind with people. He was used to be an emotional and over sensitive boy in his childhood, who can't express his feelings in'front of anyone. All people were always take him wrongly in everything and that thing was making him weak day by day. Sometimes he used to be hard with himself to change himself and to ignore every s**t like this. But he couldn't get himself out from this pain.Then he decided to learn from everything who were making him weak. He started facing every fear of his life with the help of Almighty. He observed that dependency is painful. He left everything who were giving him pain and heartaches. He locked those questions somewhere in his heart and did promise with himself that "He will never think about them again." He chose to become practical "Not spiritual".
That was a damn cold and foggy day when he was playing with his pet in garden. When he saw a girl who were looking at the sky like she is finding something in sky. He tried to ignore her but he couldn't stop himself after a while 'cause he felt like, he saw her somewhere before. And then he asked to her, "Why are you looking at the sky like this? Is this something weird or what?" And then, she looked at him with strange eyes, and said "I am finding myself in the sky, 'cause I've lost it somewhere in this cruel world"He smiled, and asked to her, "How can you say like that you've lost yourself in the sky when we both knows that you're here, in'front of me, ain't it?" She looked at him with wonder and said, "Are we really here? When we even don't know the real purpose of our lives. we never faced ourselves while running behind our worldly sick wishes, who makes us sick. We live our lives in some average boundaries. We runs behind our dreams, love, money etc. How many people in us, those who thinks about their inner peace, inner growth? We're just running in that way, where everyone is going." For that's why we came here?" He couldn't reply her back, He just had no words to say to her back. He was just blank that time, 'cause he also used to think like that the way she were saying. Then, "She stood up and gone..."

He got married after few years with his cousin for his parent's happiness. He were spending his life perfectly but not happily, 'cause still he had a crack in himself about those questions who he used to think about them since his childhood. He used to think about that gone girl sometimes too. But he never took her seriously. He didn't get their answers till yet. But now he just didn't want to think about them. Life was just passing the way it should..

After 12 year's, He was sitting at airport for going to meet his children in other country. That was snowy cold day, when he saw a lady who were sitting on a bench. He came close to her and said to her, "Can I ask that Did you find yourself back...?" and he smiled. She saw at him again those wonder eyes and replied him back with smile, "Yes! I did find myself after that day, when we met first time...!"They sat on a bench beneath the tree. And He asked to her, "You said you found yourself after that day, How? I mean, I didn't get it." She replied, "As same as like you couldn't reach the answers of those questions till yet?" He shocked, "Which questions? And how you know about it?" She said, "You'll get these answers someday soon. Don't worry!" and then she stood up and said, "It's time to say you Goodbye, like i couldn't say you that day. So Goodbye Alan! It's my flight time. And then, "She gone." He was shocked as same like that day, when He saw her first time in garden. He was speechless and blanked like he used to be that day.

After 2 months, when he reached back his home. He got a letter. He opened it and started reading.

"Hello Alan!You didn't knew me but I knew you since i knew myself. I was your old classmate in school days. I did fall in love with you 'cause of some similarities we had. We were classmates but you weren't know about me. I was a silent and shy girl in class and you were a tall and skinny confident guy. I always followed you, and I also always found myself in you. I had same questions in my mind those who were running in your mind. I also had been suffered from that situation you suffered. But I couldn't tell you about it, and then you gone. I found you everywhere after leaving school but I couldn't get you. After many year's I saw you in a seminar when you were playing guitar. I got your address and every information about you. And then I came to meet you in your home and I saw you in that park, near to your home. When you were talking with your friend about a girl. I heard your words carefully. You were discussing about love hurts that you fell in love with a girl and she ditched you but you still love her. Ahh!! I was started crying that time that what I was doing? I was running behind a guy and I destroyed my whole damn life in his wait. And when I reached, he were already in love with other girl? I felt that time like I have lost myself somewhere in worldly sick wishes. I talked with God that time when I was looking at the sky that Why? If he wasn't for me then why you made me sick of him. And then you talked with me and I couldn't stop myself but I gone.But after that, I learned how to live. How to be strong with the help of Almighty. I found answers of all those questions I used to think about, and you also used too ask about them. "I learned that, We all are passengers here. This world is just a class room and we're students. God test us with heartaches. We grow with hardships. I learned with pain that how to be polite and patient. We're here in Examination Hall. We're students. We born for giving an exam and learning that how to live here and what to do. Remember once you said in class that you feels insanity and strangeness in yourself sometimes. You were feeling like that because of "The God were wants you to turn back to him." but you chose world. That's why you spent your life with Chaos. But I turned back to him after broken heart. I made myself strong in your love's pain and that's how I found myself." Goodbye Alan! but yeah it's not a last Goodbye.. because I'll meet you in heaven. You chose world, I chose pain. You lived your life in chaos, I lived my life with patience. And that's the difference between us! Goodbye again.. but "Not the last time...!" With love, Susan...

(Written on other page) ..."She is dead last week. She wanted to send this letter after her death. Thank you.