MDMA

Chapter 5 - MDMA

 

I don’t wake up until noon the next day, and it isn’t voluntarily. My mother is in my room; throwing back my curtains allowing fresh silvery light invade my eye lids. Whenever I do sit up, she’s sitting on my window seat, looking in the several H&C, Levi’s, Old Navy, etc. bags before her. “What are you doing?” I ask, rubbing the remainders of sleep from my eyes with balled fists.

“I went shopping this morning, and Sally mentioned something about swimming. And, I know the last bathing suit you bought must be too small for you now.” She says, and she pulls a white spaghetti string bikini from one from one of the bags, and I’m growling into my pillow. “Oh, stop the theatrics Penelope.” She says, and I feel her sit next to me on the bed.

“I probably won’t go swimming over there. These girls have tan beach bodies, and I’m white and flabby.” I grumble, tossing my pillow to the side, though that’s only half truth. I’m not going to stay; I’m dropping them off and then picking them up.

She sighs outwardly, looking ahead of her like there is someone sitting there agreeing with her frustrations. “Just try it on, it was expensive.” She says, tossing it onto my lap.

“I didn’t ask you to buy me anything expensive.” I counter, and she’s on her feet, pulling the covers from me, and then shoving me off the bed. “Okay, okay,” I say, jerking away from her, and taking the bikini to the bathroom with me.

It’s like she’s showing me how to be a hoochy. I think my last bikini from when I was twelve covers more area than this one. There are little triangles covering my breasts, and I need to shave before I try on the bottom half. I walk out, and she claps her hands, “Isn’t this a little less than a bikini?” I ask. What happened to my modest mother?

“It’s the style now.” She says, folding her arms. “Don’t you want to look like you know what you’re doing?”

“I look like I’m about to stand on a corner waving down potential customers.” I roll my eyes, gazing at myself in my mirror that hangs on my bathroom door.

“It’s cute. The other girls will complement it.” She continues to boast.

“Aren’t you afraid that I boy might see me in this?” I say, trying my last defense.

She shakes her head, “Sally said that it’s only going to be girls at the slumber party.” How long did she talk to Sally on the phone about this? I roll my eyes.

“Can I take it off now?” I ask, and she nods.

As I’m changing back into my pajamas, she’s talking to me from the door, “I got you a wrap to go with it too.” Oh goodie.

“That’s okay mom. I really don’t think I’m going to wear this.” I say, because I know I’m not going to an all-girls slumber party, I’m going to some place called the plaza and it’s going to be co-ed.

 

But, nevertheless, she doesn’t stop begging and suggesting until I leave with it on. The wrap is concealing though, it’s a long white strapless dress. She even bought me ivory sandals with little gold and silver flowers on it. Sally texted me her address, and I pick her up first. “Hey skank,” she says, getting into the passenger seat wearing a blue bikini top and cut off denim shorts.

“Where to next?” I ask, ignoring her snide comment.

“Miles is at Myra’s; she lives a few roads over.” She says, pointing towards the exit out of her neighborhood, and she directs me right. Soon, we’re all in the car, and they are deep in conversation about tonight. I’m only thinking of how I’m going to get out of staying because to my unneeded surprise Myra’s brother bought her a 24 pack of Budweiser, and they are going to leave it in my car in the ice chest Miles’ provided. Great.

The plaza is located way out of town onto a road that needs to be repaved, and shortly, I’m turning onto a dirt road. And, they say they aren’t cousin-fuckers? I edge along the road; luckily the sun is just setting behind the rows and rows of towering forestry, and I’m not stalking around here in the night. Soon, we descending down a steep hill, and then I start to see trucks and other cars. I see people standing in circles talking, puffs of smoke leaving the circles, and some people are already drinking a mixtures of different things; cans, bottles, red plastic cups. “Park there,” Miles says, he’s been back seat driving this entire time, and I park between a newer looking red Ford truck and a sad looking blue civic.

“So this is it?” I ask, expecting there to be more; streamers and lights everywhere; maybe a buffet. And, where is the damn water at?

Everyone is leaving the car, and I’m still thinking of a way to get away from all of this. But, somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I want to stay. I haven’t been in this atmosphere in a while. So, I decide to stay until I’m too uncomfortable, and then I’ll make my get away.

“Nope, the plaza is a way down. You just can’t park on the sand, new girl.” Miles mutters, joining me by the driver’s door.

We pass a few group of people who stare as we do, I think I hear someone call my name, but I don’t bother giving whoever it was the time of day. We reach the top of the hill, and we’re about to incline downward where the dirt ends and the sand begins. It leads to a vast beach line where there are several more people, three trucks with huge amps and speakers in the back with floozies dancing on the tailgates.  There are also several bon fires producing black smoke into the atmosphere, and I’m wondering what could the possibly be burning down there?

“Look at that face,” Sally says, nudging Miles.

Miles smiles, “There is nothing like your first plaza party.”

I compose myself, not realizing that my jaw was nearing the ground, “We had parties like this in Ohio.” I say almost defensively, when really that’s a huge lie. Our parties were normally inside, with a limited amount of people, and this party look like it would topple out of a roof in my old Toledo neighborhood. I can’t imagine that all of these kids go to our school. We’re nearing the end of the slope whenever Myra runs off, embracing another girl, and I look away, not needing to see anymore.

“I want to find Mattie.” Miles exclaims; Sally and I follow.

 

The night starts off fine. We sit with Mattie and his comrades (worshippers, whatever) for what feels like hours, and he gives us (what I thought was) punch. But, it turns out to be jungle juice, and I’m feeling a little more relaxed than I normally would at these kinds of social events. Sally, surprisingly, has a boyfriend named Clark and after a while, I’m completely excluded from their conversation while their making out. I sit with Miles, who only has eyes for Mattie, and I’m staring at the moonlit river waters as a group of exuberant girls and guys’ splash and scream at each other.

“I’m going to get more punch, you want some?” Miles finally asks, and I look down at my half-filled cup, and nod; So much for DD. We will just sleep in my car.

We have to walk a ways to the cooler filled with the red punch, because neither one of us are beer people. “I think tonight is going to be the night. Do you see the way he’s talking to me?” Miles is so eager.

I haven’t really been paying attention, but I say, “Yeah,” and I nod to reassure him.

“Why didn’t you invite your boy-toy tonight?” He asks, looking from the lake back to me.

It takes me a second to realize who he’s talking about, and I stammer. “He had to work.” I lie, the edges of drunkenness helping me out as I shrug my shoulders.

He laughs a short laugh, “You got yourself a working man?” I smile, then down the rest of my drink.

“Slow down there, baby girl,” a man with gelled hair wearing tuxedo shirt exclaims, looking me over.

Miles chunks his cup at him, “F**k off, Chad.” And, chad does just that.

“Whose he?” I ask, because I had forgotten that I’m an overly curious drunk.

Miles shrugs, “He graduated a few years ago. We used to have a thing. But, he’s a jack a*s. Much like,” he stops himself, looking at me nervously, like he almost let loose a deep dark secret.

“Like?’ I inquire.

“I shouldn’t say.” He says, and we’re nearing the truck where we got the drinks before.

“I won’t tell anyone.” I insist.

“Avian,” he breathes.

“Whoa, what?” I stop, looking at him to see if he’s kidding or not. “Ezra’s brother Avian?”

“Not so loud,” Miles looks at me sharply, and he nods. I’m mind blown. I hand my cup over to the scene kid with the long hair and piercings on the tailgate with his arm on the red cooler. “Juice please,” Miles says parting his eyes from me briefly, and I must look completely out of it because Miles is looking at me so tensely. I take the cup I’m handed and down it quickly, because in all honesty, I need something to ease this thought into my brain. And, the scene kid with the straight as hay hair laughs.

“What?” I scan him over, and he’s covering his mouth laughing a hard laugh. A girl comes from behind him, looking giddy, she was hidden by the cooler I suppose, and grins at me.

“He totally dosed you.” She smiles widely, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.

Panic starts in my chest, tightening my heart, and churning my stomach, “I need to throw up.” I look at Miles, and he’s downing his drink just as fast as I did, and I’m confused… Did he want to be dosed? He takes me by the arm, and leads me away.

“Hey, you’re going to need these.” The boy on the tailgate tosses a bottle of orange juice and a bottle of water at Miles. I feel like I’m starting to spin.

“You’re fine. It’s just MDMA. Have you ever taken it before?” He mutters into my ear. “I was planning on buying some from him later, but I guess he thought it was for you. He’s an air head.”

I’ve only smoked pot one time in my life, never have I thought I would be standing on a beach about to trip balls on ecstasy. “No,” I mumble, heading back towards the truck where Mattie is still stationed. “I think I should throw it up.” I’m still spinning; I’m not sure if it’s from the alcohol or the drugs.

“That’s a twenty dollar Molly. Hold it down and enjoy the ride.” He mutters calmly to me, and I just nod. Maybe it’s the drunkenness or maybe deep inside I think this is okay, but I relax a bit. I’m going to be okay… as long as I keep a level head. I can do that, right?

Whenever we reach the truck, Miles hands out little blue tabs (that look like vitamins) to everyone, and they cheer. I’m steadying myself on the tailgate, and then, someone hoists me up, and I go involuntarily. “Miles said it’s your first time, and I,” I finally look at the boy with his hand on my forearm; cute but he isn’t Caleb, “should take care of you.”

“I’m fine,” I fib. I just don’t want this boy to think that I’m down for whatever, and I take my arm away. I didn’t even want to be here, let alone experiment with drugs with people I just met this week.

“What’s your name?” He continues to try to make me succumb to him.

I roll my eyes, sitting in the very back of the truck; I guess I can entertain him for a little while. “Penelope,” I give away. He joins me.

“I’m Tyler.” He holds out a rough looking tanned hand. I take it, and I glance him over briefly. He’s an average kicker. He’s wearing the button up collared shirt, with the cowboy hat, and the cowboy spurs on his cowboy boots. “Miles said you moved from somewhere up north.”

“Toledo,” I say, glaring at Miles who’s almost sitting in Mattie’s lap, and Mattie looks like he’s trying to inch away from Miles as he’s talking avidly with his group of friends.

We talk for about thirty minutes; he’s a ranch hand in the summers and goes to Lee College in the fall and winter months. He doesn’t eat noodles. His mother is a vegetarian. He graduated two years ago with Avian. His brother has one ball caused by an unfortunate ice skating incident (Who knew you could ice skate in Texas?) He goes on and on and on about himself, and my mind is drifting further and further away. Then he does it, the one thing that I knew would happen; he touches my leg like his hand is a magnet and I’m metal. I jerk away mechanically. “I’m sorry. Just look how it feels,” he says, cautiously this time, and I shake my head. I see his pupils are dilated, and I’m sure mine are too. It feels almost cold out, and I need some water.

I crawl away from him and off the tailgate over to Miles who is shadowing Mattie in the front of the truck. I hear wisps of conversation about engines and gas, “Hey,” I lick my lips, “Where is that water at?” I ask feeling my arm and it feels like silk.

“I drank it all.” He confesses, shrugging his shoulders, and I think about strangling him again, but I don’t. I walk off, towards the hipsters that drugged me; they owe me. I’ll get water out of them.

On my way, trudging across the sand I see a familiar face amongst one of the circles of kids. “Ezra?” I mutter, and pacing over to him. “What are you doing here?” I ask, taking him by the shoulder and he grins at me.

“Socializing, it’s a lot harmless than what you’re doing. Have you seen you’re pupils?” He turns away from his group of friends, and I shake my head. “Well, they are the size of the freakin’ moon. Does your mother know you do drugs?” He says, folding his arms, looking at me comically.

“Does your father know you’re at a high school party?” I counter.

“I think teenage drug usage is a bit more controversial.” He smirks, pushing a tendril of loose hair behind my ear, and his touch feels so good. I shut my eyes, and whenever I open them, he’s looking at me thoughtfully. “Guys, this is my new little sister,” he calls over his shoulder. He steps away from my view of four guys, all too old to be high school kids, one even has a beard. They’re all drinking long neck Budweiser.

“She’s cute.” The bearded one says, and I want to duck behind Ezra.

“And, underage.” Ezra announces looking from his crowd of friends back to me. “Don’t mind Lenny, he’s harmless.” He mutters. His blue eyes look tantalizing in the moon light. I bite my lip.

“Yeah, it’s you she should be worried about.” Another, lanky dark haired one says, and I’m glad it’s dark because I blush.

All the attention seems to fall away from me quicker than I expected, and I look back to Ezra, who is also staring at me, “Who did you come here with?” He asks.

“Miles, Sally, Myra,” I name them off, shrugging.

“Ah, the gay-boy,” Ezra says jokingly. And, this brings me back to the conversation before I was dosed. But, I couldn’t imagine asking him about Avian.

“Miles didn’t tell me my drink was laced.” I say instead.

“And now you feel totally amazing.” He’s about right.

“Pretty much,” I giggle.

“Have you gone swimming yet?” He raises his bottle to his mouth and finishes off what’s left of it and tosses it to the right. I shake my head, “Want to go? It’s so hot.” I shake my head agreeably and he takes off his shirt revealing a thin, yet toned muscular body. “C’mon,” he takes me by the arm, and I hear his friends howling behind us.

 

Whenever we reach the shoreline, he takes his pants off too, and strides into the water knee-deep with only his boxers on and fanning me to join him. I slip my wrap off, and set my shoes on it to keep the (sudden) wind from blowing them away. Whenever I start into the water, it feels like I’m falling into quick sand and I submit. Ezra splashes over to me, and pulls me up. He hold my hand until we’re waist deep, and I’m glad the current isn’t strong tonight. “What does it feel like?” He asks me, looking at me with those blue eyes that could make my heart stop if I stared long enough.

“Like I’m sinking deeper and deeper into the sand,” I say, wiggling my toes methodically to make sure I’m in fact above the sand.

He grins, the moonlight making his teeth look like white pearls, “Float.” He says, prodding my shoulder and I slip backwards going under barely. I come back up and I push him playfully, but he doesn’t budge. “Float,” he says again, and this time I lie backwards, thinking I’m weightless and I float. It feels amazing; like I’m a piece of drift wood staring up at the bright moon and billions of stars. I feel minuscule, yet so close to the moon.

“Amazing,” I mumble.

“Yes,” he says, and I look over and he’s floating with me. His fingers grazing my arm sending hot chills through my arm, down my belly, and into my undercarriage; I can’t think that way though… isn’t it forbidden to want your step brother in those ways?

I’m deep in thought whenever I thrust into the air, and I land sideways some ways away from where I was floating. I come up, glaring at Ezra, who is laughing that infectious laugh and I can’t help but to join him. I splash him; he ducks, and then palms water at me. I feel cold and hot at the same time, and I turn around letting the water splash my hot back and it feels so good. “Again,” I call, and he does. “Mm, it feels good.” I don’t mean to, but I moan.

Then his hands are on my shoulders, and he’s massaging them. It feels like a heating pad adjusting and loosening on my shoulders and I let my head fall to the side. Then, I feel his hot breath on my ear, and I think he’s about to kiss me, then he says, “I’ll race you to the shore.” And, he’s off. I’m flailing my arms in the water to catch up to him, and he’s tugging on his pants by the time I make it to shore. “Slow poke,” he grins, and I splash him as I’m getting out, and he doesn’t bother dodging it.

“You should drink some; it’ll help you sleep better tonight.” He insists after a moment of silence, and I’m pulling my dress over my bosom. “I got beer back at my buddy’s truck.” He continues, as I turn around gazing at him, the moon causing weird shadows on his shirtless chest.

“I’m not really a beer person.” I’m wringing out my hair and slipping on my sandals.

He nods, “What about liquor?”

And, I grin

 

We head back to where we left his friends and they howl once more as we walk up. “That was quick.” The bearded man says teasingly, and Ezra punches his shoulder as he walks past him. I follow quickly, not returning the stares of his friends as I do. We head up the hill awkwardly, grabbing on roots to help us up until we’re at the top. His truck is on, and the music is going. We continue around the truck where two model-like vixens sit, “Hey Ezra,” one of them says smiling at him, until I come from behind him, and then she says, “Who is this?” Almost angrily.

“The little sister,” I force a smile.

“Cute,” the other girls says with straight red hair and red lips.

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” The one with curls of black hair and owlish green eyes says looking curtly from me to Ezra.

“It’s my father’s new wives daughter.” He mumbles dismissively, reaching passed them into a brown paper bag and retrieving a bottle of Malibu Rum. He hands it to me. “Her name is Penny.”

She reminds me Megan Fox, “I’m Alex and this is my sister Olivia.” The black-haired vixen says to me, and I nod.

“Nice to meet you,” I mutter, before Ezra begins to lead me away again.

Once we’re back on the sand he says, “I used to date Alex. I think she’s jealous of you.” He laughs.

“And I don’t see why…” I say, though I wish there was a reason. I open the bottle and take a huge gulp. It goes down harshly causing me to cough.

“Don’t be such a wimp,” he mutters, taking the bottle from me, and chugging. I look at him distastefully.  

Farther onto the sand, I hear in the distance, “Fight, fight, fight,” and Ezra is running and I’m stumbling to catch up. My legs are still mega sore from running on Friday, but I keep up almost in cohesion. And, we’re heading towards Mattie’s truck and all I can think of is: what did Miles do now?

Whenever we reach the edges of the circle, I can hear Sally screaming something garbled, and then, someone else is yelling, “That f****t touched me.” Ezra is pushing through the crowd, and I’m following quickly behind him. Then, inside the circle I see three boys kicking something limp on the ground, and Ezra is pushing at the boys. Then someone swings at Ezra �" Tyler, and I see Sally in my peripheral, she’s hysterical.

“What’s going on?” I demand of her, and she’s pointing at the boy on the ground. I see his bloody face… Miles. I rush over to them, and I’m flung backwards by Mattie who looking almost ravenous. There is blood streaked across his face and his hair is disarrayed.

“Get back c**t,” he warns me, raising his hand, and I stagger to my feet. With all the audacity and strength in my being, I take the Rum bottle across his face. He stumbles backwards until he falls on his bottom. Then, someone takes me by the arm, and I look for Miles on the ground, but he’s not there.

“We have to go.” It’s Sally’s boyfriend in my ear, and Sally’s tugging at my dress. We’re hurrying through the crowd of people. I can hear Mattie screaming in the background, and I look behind me briefly, and he’s being held back by a few people. How nice of you to intervene now.

I follow behind Clark and Sally until we’re through the crowd of drunk and unruly kids until we’re running up the slope. I see Ezra in the distance with Myra (Thankfully, because she has my keys.) and he’s carrying Miles. Whenever I finally reach the top of the hill I hear someone yell at the bottom of the hill, “Coast guard!” Then mass panic and I don’t stop until I’m at the driver’s door and Myra hands me my keys.

“Can you drive?” She asks, and I’m not completely sure. Thankfully, Ezra takes the keys from me, and I hurry to the passenger door. I can already see other kids running up the hill towards their vehicles. We’re gone seconds later.