Dead...

Chapter 5 - Dead…

 

Edgar tossed the final body into the hallway outside of the doors, I stood watch. I had proven myself to be a pretty good shot, even though I had never shot a gun before. Edgar chatted to me about it, but I wasn’t catching much of the conversation. I kept my eyes forward, waiting for another lifeless being to appear. Just anticipating the next time I could use my gun. My heart ached to feel the pressure of the trigger, the release of the bullet, and the impact as it demolishes another target.

Amongst the bodies tossed into the hallway, was Jamie’s. We were going to bury them eventually, but for right now, Edgar suggested we put them here. They smelt already. The decaying flesh and the smell of death cover them. Eve had disappeared sometime after she discovered Jamie. I couldn’t bring myself to mourn him. I didn’t know him well. He didn’t appear to approve of me here. Even though, if he were to see it today, he would probably think otherwise. I did feel some remorse for Eve.

I see Edgar jump back as one of the undead come back alive. It’s the supposed nurse. She was mauled and bloodied, but I could tell it was her. My subconscious played a dirty little trick on me, which found her demise. I swiftly turn my gun to her, I fire once just below her temple, and she’s dead once again. And, the sight of her cranium doesn’t bother me as much as it did the first time. Instead I let my eyes proceed to Edgar, who isn’t looking at it either. “Let’s go,” Edgar holds a hand out for me, I don’t take it though. I instead grab the left door and bring it with me to its stopper. Edgar, instead of waiting for me to take his hand, does the same.

-x-

We meet Eve in front of the nurses’ station where the remainder of our party resides. She looks empty. Jamie was important to her, or so I suspected. The look on her face made my heart heavy. I blink away from her as I feel tears swell up. I haven’t cried in so long, I couldn’t imagine doing it here in front of Eve or Edgar. I’m strong now. I remind myself of how well I defended myself earlier, my subconscious lost. Lost; or so I believed, she hasn’t yet reared her beautiful face in my mind’s eye. And, I’m not waiting for her to either.

The hallway is colder now. I suspect it is because of the opened windows. The cool air isn’t a bad thing; it’s actually refreshing compared to the normal sterile smell, farther down the hallway, nearer to the doors, the foul smell of corpses.

“Ruth was bitten.” Eve muttered coming out of her stupor.

Edgar groans.

I push my gun into the back of my belt, “How bad is it?” I ask.

“Four bites; one of them to the jugular,” Eve puts a hand to her forehead, and paces. I can hear her sucking in air and blowing it out just as quickly. “This is what’s going to happen to all of us if we stay here.” Eve stops pacing and leans into the wall.

Edgar nods, “We don’t know of any other safe place.”

“Baytown,” Eve mutters, she’s staring thoughtfully at the linoleum. Baytown; sounds friendly. I don’t think I have ever been there. I’m not sure, now. I don’t have many memories past… Well, past my entry here.

Before your little accident

And there she is again. I inwardly grown, and lean into the wall next to Ruth. No one pays attention to me. They probably suspect I’m sighing for the same reasons that lay before us. But, it’s her. Bile builds up in my throat as I see her again; no longer beaten, but instead her beautiful, audacious self. I will never be free of her; she is me after all.

“Yes, but that was a week ago, at least.” Edgar shrugs, gesturing outwardly with his hands. “They could have been over run.” He swallows, “We all saw how bad it was out there. That’s why we made the decision to stay here.”

Over run word plays over and over in my head. I hadn’t seen the outside in two years, and now it looks like this might as well be my tomb. I see burning buildings, children running away from grizzly monsters, and bodies… so many bodies.

Then there is a struggle from within the nurses’ station. We all quickly move inside. I reach for my gun. In front of us, with her back arched up like she is being picked up from her abdomen from the metal table is Ruth. She is loudly sucking for breath. Her skin is white as the walls. Her eyes have become gray filmy holes. Caleb is pushed backwards by Oscar, who had knocked over the overhead light to get to his feet. The expression on Caleb’s face is pure horror. I follow his eyes back to Ruth, who is shaking now; her whole body is quivering violently. I see the bites on her arm so plainly, red blood still oozing out, and her neck �" the bandage on her jugular stained in crimson. And, just like that, she is back down on the table. Dead…

Eve looks to Edgar, who is still staring at Ruth. Amazement washed over his features. Caleb pushes away from his father, sobbing he lays onto Ruth’s chest, and Oscar wipes his face slowly stopping at his chin. And, the gun is shaking in my hand.

I begin to lower the gun, as Oscar picks up the overhead light that he knocked over. Eve takes Edgar’s outstretched hand, which was probably for me. And, Caleb sobs louder. With the gun almost all the way to my side Ruth rises again, quickly, hungrily about to take a chunk out of Caleb’s ear when I hear a gun shot. Pieces of Ruth’s brain fly onto Oscar, and Caleb has back peddled to the wall. I don’t remember pulling the trigger, and saving Caleb’s life. But, he stares at me, in disbelief. I’m not sure what he is going to do next. I just killed his girlfriend to save his life. How does he feel about this? I gulp.

We stare at each other for seconds more. I think we were making the rest uncomfortable, because no one moved. We just stared hard. In the corner of my eye I finally see Oscar move in disgust, flailing his arms downward, shaking off Ruth’s innards. And, I’m beginning to lower my gun.

Eve finally takes the gun from me, not that I wanted to be departed from it, but I don’t disagree. And, she walks me out. I inhale and exhale and I remind myself that I did just save his life. But, it didn’t seem that way now �" not with how he stared. Amazed; was that what it was? I couldn’t tell if it was amazement or shock, two expressions that could easily be confused, and I really feeling like crying now.

-x-

Caleb hasn’t spoken to me, not that I expect him to. We sit inside of Eve’s room. I share the bed with Edgar, who takes up most of it. Eve sits beside Caleb on the floor. Oscar is pacing. I can still see bits of red on his shirt. I cringe at the thought.

“Let’s take a vote,” He starts. “Raise your hand if you would like to leave, and chance it out there.” I see Caleb’s hand go up first. No doubt he wouldn’t want to stay here; he lost his mother and girlfriend here. Eve’s goes up next, and then she looks over to me. Her eyes piercing me, so I raise my hand too. I haven’t been out of this place in so long. Why not?

I could think of a dozen reasons.

Oscar claps his hands together. I know it isn’t his first choice to go. I don’t feel sorry for voting against him either. Besides the fact that I haven’t set foot outside of this place in a couple years, it would also be nice to be in a place where people don’t know you are a certified loon. I think of happy people, and large safe walls to keep the even crazier beings out.

Oscar dismisses us to our separate bedroom to gather our things. I rummage through the wooden dresser that I claimed for mine. I remove several of the blouses, jeans, and undergarments. I also take the jewelry with some mild hope I could wear it one day for some kind of special occasion. I take the assortment of perfumes and lotions too with the same idea in mind. I pack it all in a brown duffle bag I found in the closet. And, then I raid the emergency kit and take all the remains.

In the hallway, I see Oscar and I join him. He’s the only one there; I guess I pack faster than the rest. He has a matching brown duffle bag on the ground next to him. His arms are folded. I notice he changed his shirt; good. I don’t want the constant reminder that I killed something else. My inner woman smiles at me, and I mentally shoo her.

“You are something aren’t you?” He doesn’t look up at me; instead he continues to stare at the white floor. I’m not sure what he means, if he means it positively or negatively either. Considering I couldn’t read his expression; I wait for him to speak again.

He laughs, and I exhale, “I mean,” he glances to me, then passed me, I guess we’re talking privately now. “Where would we be if Caleb would have run you off?” I shrug, I honestly have no idea. “You have saved our lives twice now.” He smiles, still staring passed me.

“You would have done the same for me.” I try my best to sound genuine. I think they would have Oscar and Edgar at least. Maybe even Eve too, now that she is actually acknowledging me. Caleb was still a mystery. I was a monster to him after all.

Oscar tosses an arm around me, and gives me an awkward hug. I return it briefly, before pulling away. He was warm, but smelled of sweat and onions. I tried not to grimace.

Eve and Edgar join us next, and finally Caleb. His eyes are red; probably from crying. I don’t stare longer than a few seconds. I don’t want him to catch me looking at him again, preferably. We all follow Oscar out. I walk alone. Edgar is toting the bag of guns, which is all I hear besides light footsteps.

We are going farther than I have ever been. Two right turns later; no one spoke; we stop at two metal doors. Edgar, behind me, sets the bag down. He unzips the bag and hands each of us a gun. I take the gun as joy builds up in my chest though, I fight a smile. I would smell it if it wouldn’t be too weird, but instead I let it fall to my side. I feel Edgar’s hand on mine; finally, he turns of the safety. We exchange small smiles, and then I turn back to Oscar.

“Is everyone ready?” Oscar asks, his eyes moving over all of us. I nod.

He opens the door. Firstly, I’m blinded by the bright white light. It has been so long since I have been outside, it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, but I don’t waver. I follow Oscar out, briefly shielding my eyes, until finally I can make out my surroundings. “There,” Oscar calls out, and I hear three gun shots. One zombie falls to the ground, finding the ultimate death. I don’t know which of us shot him.

I search from more, we all walk in a line behind Oscar, looking right to left. I see a chain fence encasing us, but the gate doors are wedged open far enough for a person to slip through. Beyond the fence, I see cars with their doors left open, buildings with broken windows, and inhuman beings pacing towards the fence. I feel panic wash over me. “We’re fenced in… it’s okay… it’s okay…” I hear Eve mutter. I think she is trying to calm herself more than she is trying to calm us, but I don’t say anything. I watch as the inch closer to the fence.

“No one else fire,” warns Oscar. I lower my gun. Luckily the parking lot appeared empty anyways.

“You think noise attracts them?” Edgar asks. Oscar nods. This makes sense to me too. They don’t appear to have sight, I think of the greyed eyes of Ruth briefly. I shudder inwardly.

We’re at a standstill. Before us are several rows of cars. It would appear that this hospital was filled with people, but that was no longer true. The truth is that only the dead reside there, and now we are seeking a new home. Home… I sigh.

Oscar lowers his gun as he shuffles sideways towards a teal minivan. “We could chance going to the visitor’s parking lot, but I don’t have my keys with me.” He says peeking around the minivan, and then dipping below to look underneath. He looks like he knows what he’s doing. “Clear,” he waves us over, and we obey still in line �" Me, Edgar, Eve, and Caleb. Our footsteps were almost cohesive.

I stop just short of running Oscar over. He sniffs; taking a hand through his hair, looking passed all of us, and then nods to himself, agreeing with whatever thought he just had. “Anyone here knows how to hot wire?” He glances to everyone, besides me. Edgar volunteers almost immediately. I’m not surprised as I glance at the tattooed woman on his neck as he passes me. He edges around the minivan, just as Oscar did, and disappears from my view.

Eve comes to stand beside me. I glance at her briefly from the corner of my eye. I can see sweat built up on her brow, though it isn’t hot outside. It’s pleasantly cool outside, and that’s just about the only thing inviting out here. I take a quick gaze towards the zombies, which have begun to paw at the gate. Their fingers latched around the metal holes, and their feet continue to peddle into the chain making an eerie rattling sound. I remind myself of the heavy piece in my hand; you’re okay… you’re okay.

Two gun shots, back to back; I swivel around its Caleb. His gun pointed towards the fence. I follow the barrel which is directed at the hole in the fence. Five beings are pushing their way through, causing the gate to inch backwards giving them more room to pour in. Oscar, who started to speak, glances from Caleb to me �" and then directs his own gun forward. He fires; I fire; Eve fires. The gun is much steadier in my hand this time over the rest. It’s became an extension of my arm once more. I take two down easily; they crumple like sock puppets without puppeteers. The distance is three car links, but closing in with each misfire.

I hear the van come to life, which startles me causing me to fire crookedly. I swallow, waiting for someone to say otherwise, I secure my aim for another hungry, bloodied face. The bigger picture reveals at least twenty slinking towards us. And, I push my trigger a final time; click �" something wrenches in my gut. I’m out of bullets. “I’m out,” I shout, the tension in my voice is obvious.

“Let’s go,” Oscar commands. I follow without hesitation, ducking behind Oscar. I hear several more gun shots before I reach the mini van’s door. Edgar unlocks it from the inside, and I pull the handle and slide the door back. The musk of a stale car hits me immediately, but I had no time to refrain. Oscar is shoving me inside.

I take the partial seat behind Edgar; there is no door on this side; somewhat comforting. I hear at least six more gun shots. Then, a panicked Oscar demands Caleb inside. He listens this time, and we’re all inside. The bag of guns right in front of me, I take no time to deliberate. I begin to pick through the bag, as Edgar rounds the car backwards in one swift, hurried motion. We’re facing the opened gate. The zombies so eagerly, so kindly opened wide enough for the van to fit. But, as I look up, we’re faced against double what I suspected earlier; at least forty staggering beings in front of us.

Edgar starts to weave though the few in front of us, where the van could fit. Those we passed u-turned to follow us. Their hands petting the side of the van, their faces pressed against it leaving gruesome streaks of dead blood on the tinted windows. Eve sets something in my lap; a new clip. My heart is sinking into my chest, my hands have begun to sweat, and I’m shouting within myself to just flee.

We aren’t going to make it.

My inner woman, who has been so quiet until now is looking at me pleadingly. I know I have no chance outside by myself, but she is still irking me to bolt. And, I deject her. No; if I flee, I might as well be dead. She is still boldly disagreeing with me, reminding me of the fresh clip in my lap. But, that isn’t going to be enough. Plus, I can’t just desert these people that I have found to be so helpful to me. I try my best to ignore her now. And, she’s screaming at me.

While I was struggling inside, Edgar continues to creep forward. The crowd in front of us has thinned, but start around the van. Their fingers pressing, poking, and peeling at the window; I try not to think so hard about it. My heart is thundering in my chest now, while in my head my inner moron is flailing her arms and begging me to do something rather than just sit here like dinner.

“Go, Edgar,” Oscar says softly, I can hear the tension in his voice. Caleb has leaned forward, having taken the whole backseat to himself, and is right next to my ear. I can hear his shallow breaths. This isn’t helping my composure.

Edgar goes only slightly faster. The front of the minivan is extended forward so much that the mongrels have begun crawl towards the wind shield, almost obscuring our view completely. In the back of my mind, this all seem so familiar; I think briefly of my padded cell. The walls that tasted like foul bread that left a sour taste on my tongue; I grimace.

The next few seconds pass by in a blur �" Oscar maneuvers his foot onto of Edgars, gunning the engine and we have rolled over several zombies. I can feel them in my feet as we continue to lurch forward, passed the gate, and finally, leaving the zombies in the parking lot.

I feel relieved to be passed them. I feel nervous for the future.

-x-

The large buildings of the inner city are intimidating. Not only because of their size and structure, but because I know they are probably writhing with the dead. I try not to think too hard about it. I don’t want to go into cardiac arrest or have a panic attack. My inner woman would love that, I know.

The streets aren’t empty. There are cars, trash, and bodies everywhere. It feels like a ghost town almost, if some of the corpses weren’t up walking around. Edgar has done an efficient job of maneuvering us around the garbage and vacant vehicles. We had to run over a few bodies, which doesn’t disturb me as much as it should.

You like it

I don’t answer her. I don’t have to anymore. I’m stronger now. I remind myself of the gun in my lap. Eve had put the new clip in place, and turned on the safety for me. I would have to ask her to teach me how to use the gun efficiently so I don’t look like such a girl.

“Please stay indoors; relief is on its way; if you find yourself in a situation where you must flee, camps have been set up in the following cities: Alvin, Baytown, Deer Park, Fredericksburg, Galveston, Livingston, Porter and Tyler.” The radio broadcast has been playing over and over for the past twenty minutes, since Edgar had the idea of turning the radio on. Relief is on its way; I find that hard to believe. Everything I see reminds me of how lifeless this area has become, I can’t bring myself to believe that someone is going to drop in and take us to safety. That is like wishing for everything to go back to normal. Which is impossible; too many lives have been lost for everyone to become casual and civil again. Civil people don’t eat each other, but these aren’t people after all.

No one has said much since we left the parking lot, even after were heard the first broadcast. I suspect Caleb is sleeping, because I hear deep breathing from the backseat, but I’m too nervous to turn around. I don’t want to make eye contact, or for him to even acknowledge me at all. I try not to think of Ruth, but it happens anyways. Brains spewing all over Oscar and Caleb’s stare. I shiver.

“We need gas.” Edgar breaks the silence which makes me flinch. Eve does too, I notice from my peripheral vision. She has been staring out the window since we left. Her body rocking with the car, just like mine, and her small breaths letting me know that she’s still breathing against my shoulder.

Edgar breaks away from the Beltway, and makes his way onto the feeder. I see his destination, a Valero just yards away from us. Edgar eases into the parking lot, and stops at the first fuel pump. Oscar has his door open before we come to a complete stop. I clutch my gun. Oscar opens our door, letting the golden light from the setting sun seep in. I hear Caleb stretch and yawn in the back. I get out of the car after Eve.

“You two,” Eve and I, Oscar is pointing at us with two fingers, “Stay with Edgar here,” he sets a hand on my shoulder, “Make sure nothing is creeping up.” I nod, the feeling of importance coming over me. Like I’m taking direct orders from my captain and I’m a scout in the military.

He ducks his head back into the van, “Caleb you’re with me,” he points to himself, like an awkward prod, “We’re going to turn the switch on inside.” After Caleb joins us outside, Oscar’s gaze goes from Caleb to Edgar, “Everyone remember to stay quiet as you can.” And, now I feel something unsettling in my gut.

Oscar leads as Caleb trails; I take the back of the van and Eve stands guard in front. The sun is setting behind the gas station. The light leaving gold streaks onto the pavement just ahead of me as the building casts a shadow onto us. Farther ahead I see things pacing, but they aren’t close enough to notice us. I keep my eye on them still. There is a titanium pole with a large billboard on top of it advertising some TV show I have never heard of. The faces of the people look so giddy.

I step backwards, leaning onto the van, and lean my head back. Today has become the most difficult day of my life I recollect. Before my brain seeps farther into the series of distasteful memories I feel a cold hand around my ankle. I draw back immediately, though the grip is too tight it knocks me onto my feet, and with my lose foot I knock the hand from my shin. I swivel around, feeling the prodding fingers on my legs now as I jerk my legs away trying to regain balance. I’m moving as fast as I can in crab position staring at this half being. It doesn’t have a bottom half.

Get up. Run.

My inner woman is trying to find another hold on me. I don’t listen. I can’t let her take control again, but my mind is reeling. It’s coming closer to me, using its hands to pull it towards me. It was a woman once, I suspect somewhere in the back of my mind. Its eyes are gray pools with black centers. Its teeth are chipped and green… and ravenous. Its jaw is retracting searching for my flesh and I’m still back peddling, my gun scraping upon the pavement with me. I know my eyes must be bulging from my cranium.

“What the f**k,” is what I hear next, it’s Caleb. He shoots it immediately. Its brains leak onto the pavement. We stare at each other for seconds, and I’m breathless. He paces over to me, before he drops his hand to help me, he shoots beyond me and I hear another body crumple to the ground. He helps me up after that. And, I hug him.

-x-

We reach the Baytown camp almost an hour later. We had to stay on the feeder for the remainder of the time, making our trip a little more difficult. The freeway was consumed with litter and vehicles. This was the best way; though we had to circle around a few times until we got passed certain points were the feeder would dead end. But, we made it.

Well, as least that was how it appeared. We were parked in front of two ten feet tall gates. The sign on the front in black letters read, “BAYTOWN MILITARY CAMP,” in lower case letter, and much smaller print right below the bold upper case letters it read, “Infected people will not be permitted.” I gulp thinking back to the cold, damp hand on my ankle only an hour ago. I could have been doomed.

“So what do we do?” Eve asks, leaning up next to Oscar. Her eyes searching, just like his. It’s dark out; there is only one light on the gate that highlighted the sign with an orange glow. Its light diminished on the gate, not highlighting the ground just below. How ominous could you be? I was expecting there to be at least people waiting for us, maybe not a cavalry, but something insisting that we come join them inside their fences.

It wasn’t just that there was no one outside; it was all of the deserted cars outside of the gate too. We were two car links away from the gate.

“Over there,” Caleb points out, just behind me. I feel a chill in my spine with he speaks. Our hug from earlier didn’t stir him the wrong way. It was a hug �" then he pushed me away and got into the van. He didn’t throw me down or yell at me. It’s a start of a friendship, right? My eyes follow his fingers to a stairwell and an opened metal door.

Eve shakes her head, “I think we should just stay here until daylight.” She has a point I think of zombies hiding underneath cars and shiver.

“We can make it.” Edgar suggests, though I hear some doubt in his tone. He looks from Eve to Oscar, who is opening his door. I grip my gun tighter. It is only yards away…

Caleb reaches over me, in the bag of guns, and pulls out a flash light. His t-shirt ghosting down my shoulder making me tense up. He pops the bottom of the flash light as the beam comes to life, and slides the door back revealing me and Eve. He slips out first, and then Eve, reluctantly pausing with one foot outside of the van and one inside. I was about to advise her not to leave her ankle there, but she moved behind Caleb before I could say so. I slid out finally, tugging my bag of belongings with me. I toss the bag around my shoulder, and steady myself on the rocky pavement.

Edgar brushes passed me, taking the bag of guns, and then moving in front of me. I guess I’m last. I follow behind Edgar as the group starts to move. Oscar leads. Our steps are several crunches and brushes of white chalky rocks.

 The night around us bothers me briefly, but I don’t let the feeling stick. I’m fine, I reassure myself constantly gripping my gun tighter. I couldn’t remember if Eve turned my safety on or off. I fumble with the lock until I think it’s off, nearly running into the bumper of a tan car. I jump back, causing Edgar to swivel in his step, and we exchange looks. I let out a breath as I give him a weak smile that he doesn’t return.

I hurry up to catch up to Edgar, though I’ve only fallen a few steps behind. We weave through the mess of cars until we reach the stairs. Upon climbing the stairs, it rattles, making my heart skip a beat, but I steady myself. I hold both sides of the railing. I’m okay. I remind myself. Stalling on the stairs as Oscar pushes the metal door back some, we wait in anticipation for what could possibly be lurking inside. I gulp. The cool air from the daytime has turned into crisp stinging air against my face. I hug myself, rubbing my arms, as the gun fumbles across my skin as well. I huff and see my breath.

Nothing happens for moments, he continues inside after taking the flash light from Caleb. I hear a scraping sound, like something is scratching against the metal floor. I pause, even though Edgar is two steps ahead of me now. I take a curious glance behind me; forestry. I see tall pines; the smell is reminiscent of another time in my life. I think of Christmas time, and my mother’s beautiful face. Her hair brushing against my cheek as she carries me, with my legs connected to her hip, I let my face rest against her boney shoulder.

I’m at peace then, and my heart is warm. I’m wearing a dress my grandmother bought me; it was my favorite at the time. My hair was fastened in two tight braids, yet tendrils of brown fall around my face. And, we’re at a place with several trees, and my father is there. He is holding a tree out for my mother and me to observe. I can hear his voice, he sounds very raspy, but still manly. And, he looks away from me, to someone else standing beside my mother. Her small face is almost like mine, but her eyes are blue like my father’s, and a sudden realization hits me; I had a sister.

Then the pain strikes me hard in my chest. My knees buckle, and I manage down onto the steps. I hear the gun hit the rocks below. I grip the railing for support. And, I’m starting to see stars again. I’m starting to slip away. I can’t see anything. I can faintly make out my name being yelled over and over again and, then silence…