Darkness Once More

This chapter discusses yet another rough patch.

Everything blew over within a few days, and we went back to texting each night and spending at least part of the weekends together. Then came Wednesday, June 27...and the "inevitable dark side" of change reared its ugly head once more.

 

I was at work one day when Kara texted me and told me that I needed to check out J.C.'s Facebook. I accessed his page...only to be met by what I considered to be an extremely upsetting status update. Basically, the general idea of the post was to talk about how "complete" and "happy" he felt and how all of his "troubles" went away whenever he was talking to a certain person. Kara and I both immediately agreed that there was no possible way that he was talking about me.

 

His "little sister" had apparently also picked up on that fact and had commented on the status several times to ask him who it was about. There were also comments from another female friend of J.C.'s--Fuller's ex-girlfriend, who had always made me nervous because I had always felt like J.C. secretly wanted to be with her. Fuller had assured me repeatedly that although J.C. had, indeed, had a crush on her at one point, she didn't think of him in that way...therefore, he didn't see anything happening between the two of them. Even so, she was always someone that I worried about and felt threatened by. And from the way that this girl was talking in her comments, she seemed to believe that this status had been directed toward her...and assumption that was never confirmed nor denied by J.C. on Facebook.

 

I decided to message J.C.'s "little sister" to see if he had told her who the status was about, saying that I definitely knew that he hadn't written it about me. She responded by telling me, in so many words, that J.C. had "told me he got rid of you" and that he had dissed me to her throughout the weekend that she had spent with him. As you can probably imagine, I was most definitely not pleased by this information. In my anger, I retailiated with a long, drawn-out message about how much I hated J.C. and wished that I had never met him, how stupid I was for going on our first date instead of following my first instict and turning him down, and a number of other hurtful things that I now regret deeply.

 

Not long after that, J.C. recceived word of everything that I had said...and as you can probably imagine, he wasn't exactly all that thrilled with me. We ended up having another fight that night. In the midst of our conversation, he accused me of being a completely different person and said that I was "trying to be something you think I want when in reality, I just want things to be the way they were that first night at the lake." I asked him continuously to tell me exactly how I had changed; the only response that he provided was that I had once been "fun and different from all the other girls." When I pointed out that the only reason that I had ever changed was because he had gotten "bored" with me, his response was that he had liked me for the person that I had been.

 

We continued texting the following morning, and I went to his house to see him before I had to go to work. We still didn't end up getting back together, but he did state before the conclusion of the encounter that we would "see how it goes."