Ignorance and Answers

This chapter discusses the handling and confrontation of the issues that arose in the last chapter.

For the first time since we had been back in each other's lives full-force, I didn't text J.C. when I woke up the next morning. Instead, I opted to just wait and see if he would decide to text me whenever he woke up. And at around noon or so, my phone finally alerted me of a new text from him.

 

When I read the message, I immediately felt guilty for ignoring him the way that I had done. The question, "Why didn't you text me this morning?"--followed by a sad face--was the basic content of the message.

 

I can't remember my exact words, but the general idea of my response was that I hadn't wanted to wake him up because I figured that he would be tired from staying up late at last night's party. His response to that statement made me feel even guiltier. "But you always text me in the morning." This statement, like the first one, was followed by a sad face.

 

Eventually, I worked up the nerve to ask him what the deal was with the situation, pointing out that we had been supposed to spend the whole weekend together and obviously hadn't gone through with that plan. I also mentioned that I had seen his post on Facebook and asked why he hadn't just told me up-front that he was going back to the apartment with the intention of partying rather than sleeping.

 

To make a long story short, he hadn't been able to sleep and had decided to just join the party. His explanation for not including me was that he didn't want me around parties like that, especially since the vast majority of the people in attendance were more friends of Fuller's than of his and he didn't really trust them (he had been letting me go to parties hosted by his friend, Pork Chop, throughout the portion of the summer that he had spent living in Pollok, but said that those times were different because he had trusted everyone there). I accepted his explanation and decided to just look at it as a sign that he really cared a whole lot about me.