Little Nagging Feeling

This chapter describes a time when things started to go downhill once again.

During the first weekend of August, J.C. was finally given his first weekend off. We made plans to go to Redneck Games out at Tree with Dan and party at the apartment with J.C.'s and Fuller's friends. As you can probably imagine, I was absolutely ecstatic to finally be able to get to spend a weekend with him after I had not been able to do so for a little over a month due to his new schedule; I had really missed being able to do that.

 

During that weekend, the element of change began to prove once again that it still possessed its "inevitable dark side." At first, I thought that everything was going fine; we went out to Tree the first evening and remained there all night long (and thankfully, I managed to avoid getting my head busted open this time!) and got back to the apartment at around 4:00 or 5:00 the next morning (when Fuller was still entertaining his guests).

 

We slept for most of that day; it was around 3:00 in the afternoon when we finally dragged ourselves out of bed and went to eat with Fuller at Empire Buffet. After that, we headed back to his parents' house in Pollok.

 

I believe it was shortly before 8:00 that night when he said that he was going back to the apartment to go to sleep and sent me on my way back to Alto. I was slightly confused by this--after all, the plan had been for us to spend the entire weekend together--but refrained from asking any questions...especially since he hugged me, kissed me, and told me that he loved me before I got into my car.

 

Not long after I began my journey back to Alto, I texted J.C. saying something along the lines of, "So, you're not going to go off and party with a bunch of girls who aren't me, are you? Lol." I was mostly kidding, but then again...well, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't at least just a tiny bit serious as well.

 

His reply came almost instantly and made me feel a whole lot better--"Lol, no, babe." I told myself that it was silly for me to be thinking so insecurely. After all, J.C. had never given me a reason to feel insecure in the past (not counting all of the fears that I'd had about him leaving me in favor of Marie, which really wasn't his fault). I was pretty sure that there was no need for insecurity in this situation, either. Deciding to just shake off that little nagging feeling that had started to creep its way up into my heart, I called Savana and made plans to hang out with her.

 

I was actually succeeding in pushing everything into the back of my mind; just having a good time laughing and talking and goofing off the way that Savana and I always did whenever we were hanging out. Then, I got on Facebook...and one of the first posts that I saw brought back that little nagging feeling that I had fought off earlier in the evening.

 

Rather than sleeping, it appeared that J.C. had been on Facebook. And he had posted a status update that read somewhere along the lines of, "Anybody down to party tonight?"

 

Needless to say, I was not exactly thrilled about this; my head immediately filled with questions about why he had told me that he was going back to the apartment to go to bed rather than just telling me that he was going back to party with Fuller and their friends. Savana understood why it was a cause for concern, but encouraged me to just not worry about it...a suggestion that I decided to follow to the best of my ability.