The Break-up

This chapter discusses my first break-up with J.C., as well as some of the aftermath.

On Monday, April 18, I was forced to give up the person who had become the love of my life and the relationship that I had grown to cherish so much. J.C., being the amazing, strong gentleman that he was, finally made the decision that he needed to return to his ex and try to make things work for the little life that they had created together. He made it clear to me that he did not want to leave me in the slightest (and he swore that we would remain friends and expressed hope that we would be able to be together again romantically somewhere down the line), but we both knew that leaving was exactly what he had to do. And as bad as it hurt to lose him, I found myself feeling a strong sense of admiration for him. He was being a man and taking responsibility for his actions...and I don't think that I had ever been prouder of anyone before in my whole entire life.

 

The weeks that followed were tough. We talked occasionally, but because his ex was living with him (they ended up getting engaged as well) and had him on a pretty tight leash, finding the ability to talk to me was a bit challenging for him.

 

I still remember one night when my best friend, Kara, and I were riding around Lufkin in my car. We came to a stop sign next to the downtown division of Lufkin industries, the company by which he was employed (he worked at the oilfield division, which was a short distance down the road).

 

He was still at work at that time, so he was able to text me. He asked me how I had been, and I told him that I was hanging in there before asking him the same question. His response was, "Same, I miss you."

 

Immediately after reading that message, I burst into tears. As if on cue, the song 'Tomorrow,' by Chris Young, came blasting onto tthe radio (it doesn't have anything to do with a pregnant ex-girlfriend, but still...it's a sad, sad song), causing me to cry even harder. Being the amazing best friend that she was, Kara immediately changed the station and instructed me to switch seats with her so that I could just cry and release my feelings without having to concentrate on driving at the same time. I cried just about all the way home.

 

I attempted to just push J.C. into the back of my mind and move on with my life. Kara and a few of our friends from school introduced me to a very nice and very handsome guy named Trevor and encouraged us to try to get something going. In the end, however, Trevor and I proved that we were not meant to be anything beyond friends; we were a little too different from one another to be anything more. Besides, there was only one guy for me...and if I couldn't be with him, then I didn't want to be with anybody else.

 

On what would have been our one-month anniversary, I drove out to Lake Nacogdoches after getting out of class. My vision was blurred by tears as I sat there on the lakeshore and looked out at the water, reminiscing about the time that I had spent with J.C. in that very same spot. I also wrote a letter to him detailing my feelings about the situation--a letter that I still have to this day in one of my dresser drawers.