i dont know

i dont really know, i just wrote this

 I'll be waiting for you

when you have left me

i see us holding hands

as you pass by me

i see our last kiss

as you kiss your first

i feel alone with out you

while you feel full with her

i cant say my goodbye

but you said your hello

i see you smile at me

when you past me i know its not for me

i miss you so much

when i am nothing but a friend to you

how can i move?

when your running so fast

feeling your arms slip away

as you grab her tight

seeing your eyes drift away

while yours are drifting to something new

my heart is trembling for your touch

i give you the slightest sound of how i still love you

while you sit there with your new love

nothing caring of what i have to say

as if we were never one

Author's Note

i'm new at this... and i know its bad but i guess just tell me what you think. thanks:)

Reviews

[fallendemonofmercy]

honestly, i don't find this very bad at all. it's about lovers - newfound or, in the case of the bf undiscovered - now have broken away and while one is left is a new, conflicting battle of understanding the other is off on his merry way. what's not to like - i liked it

[Pimpinella]

in general it was a pretty good read. You definitely have potential its just a matter of you tapping into that potential.

i see our last kiss

as you kiss your first

^^^ those would be my favorite lines of this work. Really powerful message in such few words.

seeing your eyes drift away

while yours are drifting to something new

^^^ there's a bit of a mangle in here. maybe you just had a mistype. But i know what your trying to say. at first glance though it is confusing. Just go back and re word these two lines and id say you have a nice piece of work

[StrawberryDream]

I just stumbled across your poem, and appreciated your honesty... You can tell that you doubt your ability- Don't afraid to let go! You have lovely things to say. I liked this poem, especially the parts that contrasted between him and her, and him and you. Unrequited love is so painful. Nice poem.