Us

Pictures of us spread out on my floor

All i ever wanted was you

Never anything more

With each kiss our love grew

You made my soul soar

And the feelings i had for you were brand new

To you my heart I would pour

 

But that fateful day in May

All that changed

My heart turned gray

We were once in love but now estranged

I still wish I was with you even today

One day we were supposed to be engaged

But all of that changed in one sad day

Author's Note

haha it was my sad attempt at ryhming. it didn't go well lol

Reviews

[*Always be Me:)*]

wow very nice girl!! i like it! keep writing! :)

[Diego]

I think your rhyming was wonderful. Not a sad attempt at all. Loved reading it.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

The rhyming was excellent and your words were bittersweet... I very nice little emotional poem.

[Sheila Kline]

Actually for myself,.... one who rhymes, and rhymes, and rhymes a poem to death, your attempt at rhyming is not bad at all, and you did so while keeping the message flowing and intact.

Not a bad write at all! Please keep at it, and you will find that time and practice will yield positive results!
You should see some of my writes from a couple of years ago...YIKES THEY WERE BAD! But, with time some lessons have been learned and they make for improvement.

This is actually a pretty good write, and I couldn't find spelling mistakes to match the remark below.
Please don't get discouraged! CHARGE ON!!!!

[Kayla_May]

it actually made me tear up .... good write

[Mistaken]

JEFF!!! you said and I quote "You actually did a good job." She always does a good job gosh! lol I loved it Sarah! can't wait to read your others

[Skyman]

your spelling didn't go to well to lol

[A]

This was really, really good. @@

The rhyming was fine. xP

[Shelby Baker]

Uhhh!! I can so relate to this!! May 19th!! Right before my birthday!! it happened! urghhhh!! haha
Good old ice cream helps!
Anyways the poem is good and it flows nicely so yeah. good job!

[Jacqueline]

Painful...I can imagine you trying to laugh it off but tear welling as you wrote this :( Sometimes in life, we go through a few 'Hims' (or 'Hers') but in time it will make you stronger. In the meantime, spread some Nutella on a donut and have a solo "F-U!" party in his (dis)honor! ;)