Coin Toss - Pick a Side

We sat in a quiet corner. Allan looked at the wooden table, then at the bar, looking anywhere but me. I didn’t know what to say, but I needed him to talk.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. It wasn’t the most original question to be asked, but it was to the point, and the on and off closeness he was giving me made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know whether to confess to him or give him space. It didn’t help that when he did look at me my cheek was clear proof that our lives were dangerous.

A woman came over with two beers, banging them down on the table and making the liquid splash out of the jugs and spilling everywhere. I paid with all my spare change and waited until we were alone and out of hearing distance from passersby.

“Tell me Allan.”

He took the jug and drank half of his beer. When he placed it back down he took my hand, then quickly letting it go and drumming his fingers onto the table instead.

“We’re risking our lives but getting nothing out of it.”

I frowned, confused.

“What are you talking about? Of course we are. We’re making a difference to people’s lives.”

“I’m talking about us.”

I waited for him to continue.

“Look at you. You nearly died. But Joe only cares about making himself look good.”

“That’s not true.”

Allan shook his head and drank the rest of his beer. When he looked at me there was madness in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. I knew before he spoke that I wouldn’t like what he had to say.

“Why can’t we get a share? We’re the ones that put our neck on the line. We need to have good food and stuff, we should get some kind of reward for our services.”

I’d never heard him talk like this before. However, I knew these thoughts were within him. When Joe found him he was in the prison for thieving of drunken men in bars.

“What are you saying?”

He didn’t answer for some time. His eyes were staring at my wrists. I put them under the table but his gaze remained in that spot.

“I could do a deal. You know, money for information.”

“No.”

When he looked up he was in a world of his own. His eyes were alight with fantasy.

“We wouldn’t hurt him, just tell them a few things. We could save the money and get away from all of this.”

“Allan. Joe is the one who saved us both. I don’t want a normal life. I like the adventure. I like the running. That’s me. And that’s you too. Don’t be stupid.”

His eyebrow raised, and with this he looked up at me.

“Stupid?”

I nodded. Quickly I was becoming uncomfortable with this turn of conversation. Even discussing the possibility felt as if I was deceiving him.

“He gets everything,” Allan said. “The Fame, the glory, the tokens of gratitude from the whole town. But what do we get? Nothing.”

“Please don’t do this Allan. If we are going to take this man’s money then I don’t want to have to worry about you too. What if you rat us out they capture us? You’d be in as much trouble as we would.”

“I wouldn’t let you get hurt.”

I shook my head and smiled at him weakly.

“Trust Joe. Not the bad guys.”

Allan said nothing.

“Please.”

With this he sighed, the light fading from his eyes and looking at me with sadness.

“I want you to be safe.”

I lifted my arms back onto the table and took his hands in mine.

“I want you to be safe too. So we all have to trust each other, right?”

“Right.”

His voice was blank, the word forced, but I trusted him.

I let go of his hands and tried to pick up the jug. The strength was too heavy. The pain shot though my body. Maybe I’d try again in a few minutes. I looked up to see Allan laughing, his hand covering his mouth. I joined in. At that moment I had less strength than an old drunken lady.

“Let’s have shots instead.”