Mr. Stranger

This is a supposed to be a surrealist short story for my creative writing class. I've never written a surrealist story before though so I'm not sure how that went....

                Hand in hand we walked down the trail; the early morning sunlight blocked by the canopy of tree’s encircling us.  The surrounding growth still glistened with dew drops which trickled onto my legs as they brushed against the leaves of the wild lilies that lined our path.  I stroked their striking orange petals with my free hand and after a moment of thinking turned my face to smile at Leon.  My eyes found him nowhere.

                I woke up in a fright shoving the covers back and pushing myself up to lay my head against the cold white brick.  I raised my hand to my beating chest where little droplets of sweat had just begun to fall.  My eyes darted around the room scanning over the pictures plastered over every square inch of all three walls.  They held my memories.  Leon and I  smiling to one another, Leon making funny faces, Leon and I with his family for Christmas, Leon holding his nephew, Leon, Leon, Leon!  My heart cracked just a little more.  Still frightened and unable to sleep I continued to stare at the pictures.  It had become a routine that occurred every night since my first here in the prison.   Still, I failed to rid the nightmare from my slumber but slowly I slipped back under, staring into the eyes of the bluest ocean. 

When I awoke the next morning food had been set out, by whom I have never known.   To my knowledge I am the only inhabitant here.  I walk out my unguarded gate to the lonely gallows where I stand upon the single chair with a noose hanging loosely around my throat.  The chair is wobbly as I stare below into the empty black space.  I stand and feel the sun move across the sky, its warmth tingling my skin.  I could jump.  I could be done with everything, the nightmares, and the pain.  All I have to do is jump.  Sweetly smiling at the cardboard figures that stand before me smiling back, I stand unmoving.  While I contemplate my fate a small light expands in the darkness of the hole beneath me.  Rocking myself forward on the wobbly chair I try to quickly catch a glance but the light has already gone.  It must have been a trick of the eyes I tell myself.   Not until the stars begin to pop up and my limbs have gone numb do I untangle the rope and step down the creaking steps of the gallows. 

Back in my cold chamber I strip from my summer dress, sit down at the vanity to remove my makeup, and wrap myself in the silk robe hanging on the wall.  I let lose my ebony curls and climb into the massive bed.  My small figure is swallowed in the millions of red pillows and massive cover.  The memories hanging bring back the tears that turn my sheets black.  I fall asleep in the storm and wake up to bright sunlight.  I outstretch my arms and breathe in the no longer dank air.  It flows through my lungs like spring time, thick and slow.  As I rise from my bed the light returns as a definite figure walking towards my cell.  Reluctant I step back as it moves closer.  Clutching my robe tighter to my chest, I turn away and seat myself at the vanity.  When I look back through the mirror the light has gone.  I paint my lips red, tie my hair up with ribbon and dress myself.  I walk back out the gate to the gallows and stand upon the wobbling chair.  I reach up for the knotted rope and tug it down.  I pause to look at it, turning it in my soft hands, hesitating.  Its scratchy surface leaves tiny cuts across my palms and my blood leaves its mark in return.  I look below where I first saw the light.  Through darkness I see it again.  I stand upon the rocking chair and dive into the abyss. 

I am caught by something gentle that brings me strange comfort as we drop through the clouded tunnel.  I watch time pass us by as my life plays as a movie upon an eternal screen.  It never shows memories of the past, only the present.  It shows my choices and consequences.  The form that cradles me guides me through it.  Suddenly I see Leon flash upon the wall, we’re arguing, and a fear comes over me.  I fight against the stranger, my heart rate increasing.  I refuse to look back at the images flowing on by.  They continue to play no matter how hard I fight against them.  I no longer feel any solace, only the coldness of the prison.  I drag myself back to the gallows and let the rope slide over my neck. 

Later I return to my room and let my mind continue to drown in its contemplation.  More pictures have been added to the walls, overlapping with the previous ones.  Day by day I travel back to the lonely noose awaiting my companionship.  Each day a weight grows heavier upon my chest.  The light appears in different places at different times, its presence calling me towards it but my heart forces me to stay.  As I brushed my hair one night I looked to my palms where the cuts had earlier been marked.  Now only soft fading scars gleam like diamonds in the dimly lit room.  Sitting at the vanity I looked into the mirror and watched my face fade away, replaced by a misty fog that appeared to come from the glass itself.  I saw the light, patiently waiting for me on the other side.  Reaching out to touch it my fingers skimmed its surface.  It was soft but thickly rolling around and I imagined plunging through it would be like taking a bath in warm honey.  The sensation traveled across my arm and spread throughout my body, soaking into my core.  Unable to resist the temptation I followed it back through the mirror and found myself once again in the dark tunnel in the stranger’s soft arms.  This time I allowed him to lead me without a struggle.  I gave him my tears as well as my laughter. 

It carried me to a door and set me gently down upon a cloud.  Without hesitation I reached for the golden handle slowly twisting it until I heart the soft click of the latch unlocking.  I looked back to take the stranger’s hand but the light was gone.  Refusing to turn back I pushed against the tall mahogany door.  It opened to a beautiful garden, full of life.  The flowers grew as tall as trees and were of every color; their petals dipped low, providing shade away from the sizzling sun.  The grass tickled my feet with its gentle tips, each blade softer than the feathers of a bird.  Looking around I saw animals that roamed around me freely and unafraid.  Galloping towards me was a stallion, his hooves digging into the soft earth with tremendous power.  He ran in circles around me before coming to a final stop.  The laughter burst from my lungs before I had the chance to realize my happiness.  In a spontaneous leap I mounted the steed without effort.  He gave me rest upon his back for a bit of my journey around the enchanting world, showing me many of its wonders.  So many bright colors surrounded us; I pictured myself in a place mixed somewhere between Charlie’s chocolate factory and Alice’s wonderland.  When the ride was over I repaid him with freshly picked apples from a nearby tree, thanked him, and sent him on his way.  With much curiosity I picked an apple for myself and hesitantly took a small bite.  My teeth broke through the peel easily and my lips were delighted to soak up the sour juices dribbling down.  It proved to be a very worthy treat. 

Strolling along by a twinkling stream the grass eventually turned to a footpath of stone steps entering the water.  Peering forward I saw that they led to a stone bridge where the water gently lapped around it and small flowers curled up around and through its cracks.  Upon the bridge stood a boy; he stood as a statue holding out his hand, compelling me to come forward.  The first step wobbled when I stepped up but I continued on to the next, stretching my arms out like the man walking the hire wire at the circus, afraid to fall but keeping my eyes on the destination ahead.  His eyes were golden, shining like a candle in the dark and softer than honey.  Worlds clashed as my hand found his. 

Author's Note

Sadly my creative writing teacher doesn't give me much constructive criticism, which is what I really want, so I never know how I really did on a story. I would love for any constructive criticism you guys can give, it would be much appreciated! So thank you if you reply to this story! :) Even if you hate it, tell me. I really want to know what people think of my writing.