Strength

A Poem by Saptaparna

A monologue of self assurance in my journey of healing.

I can’t fake positivity
I sometimes joke about wanting to die
because I felt at edge with my self
many times, the urge to let go
of life, has rested in my head for sometime
and the fact that I am alive with the thought,
with the easiest solution I could think of
blandly sitting there in the back of my mind
and yet I live, is my strength.

at times I'm at perfect harmony
at times I'm impatient with the course of my life
and at times I wait, patiently for things to happen
other times I become a victim
of restlessness and self abuse

do not look at me like you would a dead plant
I am still sprouting new leaves
I feel happiness just like I feel sadness
like the contraction of muscles
the push and pull
it needs to cave in, for it to expand out

there’s no point A and point B in life
no linear equation to thoughts
no parallelogram to life events
and no prescribed doses
of sadness