yo le cuidaré de

if i could touch you (softly)
and with that touch, dismiss your pain...
i would never stop touching you
[my fingers like rain]

if i could whisper in your ear
sweet words that could instill
confidence and joy
(my darling boy)
i would...
whisper forever
[my breath like air]

if i could wash away your worries
with the surface of my hands
i would place my palm (this gentle balm)
upon your heart...
and we would breathe together /
your concerns would leave forever.

if i could alter your world
with the fading of the light
i would will away the sun
and bring you the soft security
of night

alas, i am capable
of nothing more than
to care

with time, my dearest,
the sun will no longer represent
[despair]
but will wash you with tenderness
like the rain
and the air

Reviews

[Kristan Strietzel]

This piece has a really sexy/maternal thing about it.
While generally I think that parentheses and brackets tend to be distracting, the use of them in this piece, they don't seem to be "asides", but instead hint at a change in the tone of voice -- they are almost whispers. I'd love to hear this read aloud.

"if i could alter your world
with the fading of the light
i would will away the sun
and bring you the soft security
of night"
Ooh, this is just lovely -- I feel your desire to hold a body, curled up safely and cozily, and making the world go away, if for only a while.
Gorgeous piece. Gives me shivers -- and hits close to home.
Thanks for sharing!

[Sarah Williams]

if i could alter your world
with the fading of the light
i would will away the sun
and bring you the soft security
of night

--This was my favorite part of the entire piece...it felt both modern and classic at the same time; almost like a "romantic ode".

Enjoyable, to say the least...I like the way that the words simply rolled off my tongue as I read this aloud; it was very smooth in tone and voice. I felt an almost "mother to child" aspect to this piece, which was very sweet and touching, and then I likened that to "romantic love" and the fact that we sometimes want to protect the hearts of the people we care most about, and this poem hit home even more for me. Nicely done.

[Girl, Interrupted]

This sounded like a song. Very, very melodic and very, very sweet- almost like a lullabye.
I DID enjoy this. :)

[Richard K]

Yum. That's one lucky guy. :) Beautiful and sweet, just like its writer.

[Ivy Louise]

i really like how you use punctuation. and i really like the line "i would never stop touching you."this poem conjures up mother images for me. good work.and i love the Spanish. i speak the language and try to use it in poems whenever i can. :)