unbidden

lay beside me
on this dewy evening grass
and dream with me.

no, don't close your eyes...
please, look into mine.

i sense your hand upon the grass
beside mine- i feel the heat
emanating from your body.

there is a vibrating potency
to our quiet, forbidden passion
on this night.

we have known one another (before)
i know the angles of your body
as only a lover would.

time has passed, but sometimes
i still gasp

at the snapshots of our love.

the hot, unbidden memories
of us.

Reviews

As always, you manage to zero in on the essential aspects of a moment, elucidating them for me in such a way that makes me feel as though I "know" that moment.

"no, don't close your eyes...
please, look into mine."

This was quite an effective line, both in content and timing. I can understand the instinct to close one's eyes to heighten the sense of the moment. But to look into another's eyes instead (especially being asked to do so), adds a level of intimacy and intensity that amplifies the perception of the moment even more. Those lines perfectly set the tone for the rest of the piece.

Another lovely journey.

[Xenion Ra]

This poem picks up a suddenness to it in the last line, like a live wink in the present to whoever holds this for the moment they read it. it's like a shared secret...Ace! Hot emanations Whew, sends me soaring!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh Kara what scintillating words of rekindling an old flame from the sparks of the past... absolutely so beautiful as only you can write... you have a true gift of the written words that always leaves me in awe.

[PianoandPage]

ooooo. nice ending. best part right there. the hot flashes of light and memory. great pacing on that.

this is a cool poem, some very sensuous imagery. i like how it moved.

[Crystal]

I have missed your poems! This is so soft and passionate!

we have known one another (before)
i know the angles of your body
as only a lover would.

time has passed, but sometimes
i still gasp

at the snapshots of our love.

the hot, unbidden memories
of us.

Oh, how those lines torture me! This is so relative without being mundane... beautiful!

[Julian]

I am glad i chanced upon this "snapshot" . Gentle and evocative. Julian

[Andrew - Moon Fixer]

I like this. I feel like if you would close your eyes for a moment then you would never get it back. and that would be a great loss. Great poem
Thank you Moon Fixer

[Doug]

I love the determined passion of the first stanza. I can never get enough of that kind of poetry. It never gets old.

time has passed, but sometimes
i still gasp

at the snapshots of our love.

You broke that line up at an interesting part. I wasn't ready for that.

we have known one another (before)
i know the angles of your body
as only a lover would.

I really liked this stanza a lot. In a way though, I'd kind of like a stronger last line in it. I think that line could be tweaked some how to be stronger then that stanza would be super strong. It's not a bad line. I just think it could be even stronger. I enjoyed reading this one. Good job.

[Anata]

wonderful poem!
written with passion, pure passion as if at the time only you two were there, noone else, nothing else, just two lovers and their entangled minds.
Great poem!

[Lucidreamer]

Lovely read. memory filled love, the past filled with passion only two lovers share.

Love this.

Dawn

[Doug Case]

"I still gasp at the snapshots of our love." Wow. I hate to say it (only because I've said it so many times before), but you're amazing! The words just flow off your fingers onto the page and it's so easy and beautiful.

Perhaps you should do an evoca with this one?