rude awakening

I was thinking perhaps this has something to do

with liquored responses

to surreptitious backwards glances

[break on through to the other side]

the Doors open and slam shut.

 

I'm awake now.

 

I've never tripped

but I've fallen before

and perhaps that could explain

these voices in my head.

I wish I could just lie in bed

and count the chord transitions

while the neon numbers on the clock

-fade to black-

if the sun shines in at a certain

                        if you angle your eyes

you can watch the dog

wasting away upon the single sun patch

on the floor

 

and you know that

if you had enough ambition

you'd be doing

much the same thing.

 

but as it stands

 

you're lying down

 

thinking perhaps you have something better to do.

 

Reviews

[EVERYTHINGyoucantelltoS..]

I've never tripped
but I've fallen before
and perhaps that could explain
these voices in my head.

i like how references of falling, and floors come up here. as if someones dragging themselves up, under duress. i liked the trend of thought here, too, as if there was somthing i could be doing better at the time. it almost makes me want to do something a bit more productive with my spare time, almost...

the irony of having enough ambition to waste away on a patch of sunlight...i like that particular image, although my cat takes up that valuable property before anyone else can request access, and its another thinking question...

I was thinking perhaps this has something to do with
liquored responses to
surreptitious backwards glances
[break on through to the other side]
the Doors open and slam shut

liquor makes strange decisions for us, and the glances bring back ahh, so many memories...the door thats getting slammed shut and open seems to be both an actual door and a state of mind...definately a cool effect you have...on me, and in your poems

[Amberlight]

Quirky writing here - never read this style before. Instantly grabbed me, had to read it again, slowly this time. Geeez girl, where do you get stuff like this: "liquored responses to surreptitious backwards glances"
and this I love: I've never tripped but I've fallen before. I'll be back for more

[angelina neves]

a pleasure to read! :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I love this... it is so humorous and yet you have a very good point, sometimes we think we are doing what we want in life and moving forward to realize suddenly that we are on the treadmill going nowhere... once again I just have to stand back and marvel at the art you create.

[Thomas Glendon]

I have fallen into this state of mind many times before. It is not fun.

Interesting Doors reference you got there�yup�

[Candle in the wind]

but as it stands



you're lying down



thinking perhaps you have something better to do.


so often we are in this state of limbo

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written. Great job.

[Sonya]

I like that. Procrastination is my biggest buddy when I am doing that. Good job

[Emily B]

very many cleverly crafted lines here. I read with a smile as I found each one. love this nonsense.

[Dom Portalla]

Can definitely relate to this one.

"but as it stands
you're lying down"

great line.

concise and well written.

[Cdnsurfer]

This is a sad, melancholy piece, Kara, about falling into the place of lethargy. I like the line "surreptitious backward glances". Now if that's not dwelling on the past or what. Very nice turn of phrase. I thoroughly enjoyed this snapshot of wasting away the day, to lethargic to get out of bed. Well done. Rob