inside my heart [a little girl cries]

i hear her cry (sometimes)
in the middle of the
numinous night.

i listen to the scared
plaintive tones
of her voice,
crawl deeper into the darkness
and pretend
not to hear.

yet my throat is lined
with the taste
of her fear.

she pleads with me
to hold her tight
(to my heart).

i start to understand this pressing need
to be touched...
(oh what i would give to be held).

so i cover myself in blankets
and try to breathe.

her voice is a clear stream
of sunshine
laced with enough shadows
to leave me blind.

i touch my hand to my heart beat
and leave her [it all]
behind.

she was alone for so long
what would my attention do now?
but leave her feeling bitter,
and more
than a little
betrayed.

if i had only known
(those many years ago)
the way her little fingers
had hugged each other
and prayed.

i try to breathe.
but
my heart is filled with all the tears she has cried.

so i cover my ears
and shut my eyes
and hum
a sweet,
sad lullaby.
 

Reviews

[Dean Allen Choate (aka ..]

A wonderful piece of writing.

D. A. Choate'

[Superchick]

absolutly amazing.

[Kasia A. Tilander]

Oh the silent pleading of the inner child, it pulls at the heart. I read this for the first time yesterday but felt like i had to give it a little time before coming back and reading it again.
I have the sense that there is far more here than meets the eye, as though the blanket that is pulled over her shoulders does more than just bring comfort� does it hide a deeper pain, a greater betrayal?

You've written this so beautifully...

her voice is a clear stream
of sunshine
laced with enough shadows
to leave me blind.

...definitely my favorite stanza.

Kasia.

[Ashly Christen]

awwwwwwwww
i really like this, its sad, the child inside never dies...and neither does that comforting lullaby :)

[Gillzy]

"crawl deeper into the darkness"
This line really sets a creepy tone to the poem, it almost carries on the "numinous night" expression. I really liked that.

"what would my attention do now?
but leave her feeling bitter,
and more
than a little
betrayed."

I really liked the way you staggered this, it seemed to bring the meaning forth really clearly to me. Dragging out the betrayal, making it seem longer/bigger (as it was...). I loved that.

"my heart is filled with all the tears she has cried.

so i cover my ears
and shut my eyes
and hum
a sweet,
sad lullaby."

It's sad, so sad, but it made me laugh, as this - too - is how I cope with it all. To block out all nastiness in the world - I sing at the top of my lungs...

That was a fabulous poem. Really, very good :)

Thank you, Gillzy x

[Butterfly69]

a sad inner child...all too often people must experience this...this is a great write..."i listen to the scared
plaintive tones
of her voice,
crawl deeper into the darkness
and pretend
not to hear. " this is my favorite part...great job...keep up the great work!!!! =)

[David P. Eckert]

Such a sad series of memories, and well stated. We each are provided with moments to act, sometimes reacting far too late, or not at all. Your language and meter feel perfect. The numinous night alliteration is wonderful, and the image of the little girl, her hands clasped in prayer, which you describe as
"the way her little fingers
had hugged each other
and prayed."
is just excellent.

[Matt Johnson]

i hear her cry (sometimes)
in the middle of the
numinous night.

i listen to the scared
plaintive tones
of her voice,
crawl deeper into the darkness
and pretend
not to hear.

The vocabulary did a lot to establish the opening mood of listless apathy combined with intense fear. I really like it. You really showed desperation throughout that induced sympathy for the characters within me. Very well done. It's brooding, yet tender.

[Girl, Interrupted]

oh my goodness it was like a story. loooooooooooooooooooved it.

"i listen to the scared
plaintive tones
of her voice,
crawl deeper into the darkness
and pretend
not to hear."

i dont know why but you barely said a thing and that was enough. that was all that was needed. it didnt even really need to have a point.

"her voice is a clear stream
of sunshine
laced with enough shadows
to leave me blind.

i touch my hand to my heart beat
and leave her [it all]
behind. "

BEAUTIFUL.

[Katrina]

this reminded me of Bluebird by Charles Bukowski.
in a softer, quietly pretty way. i really enjoyed it.

and he's my favorite writer, so 'nuff said.
xxx