anhedonia

i hate how apathy sets in so fast (now).
-traversing the epidermis
then slipping deep into the skin-
i barely have time to process
before the feelings have
committed mass suicide and

i
don't
f*****g
care.

i hate how apathy has become
my wall.
i cover myself in an empty shell
while this pressing hollow feeling
makes me want to scratch through
the skin
to prove i still bleed;
to prove

i
f*****g
care.


i hate how apathy waits complacently
in my chest, prepared
(at a moment's notice)
to activate emptiness
and shut down
all vessels to the
heart.

a word / a gesture / a thought
can trigger the reaction
and without warning
(or will)
anhedonia sets in
and

i
don't
f*****g
care.

i hate how apathy becomes truth.

i hate
how
i
don't
f*****g
care.
 

Reviews

[Antony]

Kara, Do you care that I had to look up the word anhedonia in the dictionary? That was the first time I had heard that word. This is something I have to do alot of when I read certain writers works on the cafe. I am getting quite an education, and all for free. Thank you.
What is the difference between, I don't care, and I don't f*****g care? just kiddin. I like the way you did this. Do you Care?
Tony

[Gandré]

You wrote even about this - a good writer can do it. Not everybody. To write about the inability to feel joy cannot do everybody...you certainly are a good writer, my dear!

[Gillzy]

I'm not a great fan of swear words, but... strangely... this worked. If read with out the f*cking, it doesn't flow as well. It kind of adds to the edgeyness of it all. :) That's cool.

It's hard to pick a favourite line, but this one really speaks out to me:
"i cover myself in an empty shell "
I can nearly see the world as an empty shell. I love that term "empty shell", it sends a shiver down my spine.

You're a marvel Kara, tremendous job :)

Gillzy x

[Matt Johnson]

wow. i think it's great when a poet can really communicate an emotion we've all felt and can relate to. Again your vocabulary painted a vivid picture that helped communicate the dichotomy of emotions you experienced. I like how you really drive home the fact that apathy has taken over, but at the same time there exists within you the will to fight it. very well done.

[Girl, Interrupted]

i certainly know what you're talking about here, dollface. this was me circa a year ago.
MY FAVORITE:
i hate how apathy waits complacently
in my chest, prepared
(at a moment's notice)
to activate emptiness
and shut down
all vessels to the
heart.

i guess the GUEST is right in a certain aspect. not "f*****g care"-ing is a sign that you're feeling and you're caring. there's no such thing as being empty or not feeling anymore, and yet there is. its all those things defined as one gigantic feeling: sadness. the deepest possible ever.
if we didn't feel at all such as they say, we wouldn't feel anger or bitterness or the "not caring" at all. we'd blink and eat and breathe. mechanically.
well im sure you know this, and im saying it not as a correction to you but as a kind of thinking-out-loud type thing related to your poem subject.
i did enjoy it though, immensely.

[Manix]

wow man....ya this poem rocks Kara!
The ending....."i hate how apathy becomes truth.

i hate
how
i
don't
f*****g
care."
My personal favorite.
U r good and I am awe-struck on how you touched me with words.

[Manic{poor}minotaur]

yeah this is my mind, you captured it perfectly, almost verbatim

i applaud you

apathy should be a bad word, so should let down and disapointed
this is just... perfect i cant really talk now youve exhausted my speech

but damn, talent there's a reason i stumbled into this particular poem

thank you very much

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

Damn..you know, numbness is one of the most painful things a human can experience. When the blood stops flowing and the limbs turn blue and OUCH!!! It's almost more than one can bear.


"I don't f*****g care."

But....you care that you don't, which can be frustrating in it's own right...and then...and then...


Well, I'll get too personal :)


Incredible piece, amazing flow, just....damn girl.


love.me.

[Scott Casale]

"a word / a gesture / a thought
can trigger the reaction
and without warning
(or will)
anhedonia sets in
and
i
don't
f*****g
care."

Not that it matters, but

The entire piece is well- damn well written. Your vulgarity should never be set aside when expressing.
Today i will agree with this ambivalence.
i sympathize with this static, yet all too familiar feeling. The all of the sudden ness.

[Bedlam The Gypsy]

Sarah took the words right out of my mouth, right down to '"masterfully". Suffice to say, I enjoyed this very much.