sunshine through the blinds

the sunshine has imbedded horizontal lines
against her skin;
violating the distance she has placed between
herself
and the world.

she parts the blinds
with two delicate fingers
to glance outside.

pupils dilate
to soak it all in.

from the sigh of the
weeping willow
to the gentle curve
of the street

eyelids flutter fast
then tighten quick

sunspots bounce against the
backdrop of her heart.

her fingers return to fall at her side.
 

she finds comfort in the darkness
of her house
of this room
of her mind
 

of the distance she places between herself
and the
sunshine.

 

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

the sunshine has imbedded horizontal lines
against her skin;
violating the distance she has placed between
herself
and the world.

Wow what a gripping start to another fabulous piece... I like the use of the blind as the emotional wall being put up to keep the hurt out... sometimes our reaction is to just give in on feeling anything but we as humans if we aren't feeling then there is no reason to be alive so eventually we must open the blind and trust the sun to show us the light. I certainly do understand where those feelings come from though... and your writing again is well beyond me praise but I will say it, spectacular.

[Marco A. Valencia]

I got the greatest feeling of the world closing in on me from the last stanza. Needless to say that the picture you describe has all of the flavor of sadness and agoraphobia you describe in the poem. I also liked the imagery of the weeping willow as symbol and as a metaphor for her sadness. The iconography is very interesting and adds depth to the image that inspired the poem by creating a view we cannot see ourselves except through your words.she parts the blindswith two delicate fingersto glance outside.those make for another nice mental picture in motion.Nice writing,Marco

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

Again, you have written me, sweetheart. But that's the point, is it not? To bring the reader inside, so she can FEEL herself?


" the sunshine has imbedded horizontal lines
against her skin;
violating the distance she has placed between
herself
and the world."

....the worlds we create for ourself are so much safer, and while sunshine could be warm and inviting, well......that darkness just becomes so damn comfy.

Beautiful, amazing, wonderful work. I am in awe of you.....

~JMM

[Aka; Donnie (ramone) Ka..]

Whoa, real impactful the first stanza really catches my focus.

onestly, I had the check out the cool photo (like peeping tom), really fits the poem nicely.

[Girl, Interrupted]

sunspots bounce against the
backdrop of her heart.

^ youre able to write some really breathtaking lines

[Erin Hogan]

this is a really beautiful piece. it was very delicate and i enjoyed it much. i love the first stanza, its is amazing wonderful job!

[Kemari Blue]

Wow that was beautiful. It reminds me of Sunday mornings, when the sun is glaring in at me and I want to hide in the darkened parts of the room.

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

There is a lovely stanza in particular: "sunspots bounce against the
backdrop of her heart." The speaker here is reclusive but the way you've written it - investing the darkness with a genuine beauty - makes it seem as though she's better off that way. Nicely written!

[Nihad Dweidary]

Did I freaking miss the party or something? Oh, my! I can't believe I missed commenting on this one. Had you not told me, I would have not remembered. I am getting old, Karabelle. I think I am. ;-)

First of all, this has your voice all over it, your wonderful lucidness, this tinge of tender transparency. Second of all, the poem satisfies a reader's hunger for the tangible and the abstract at the same time. What we can touch and what is abstract and open to interpretation in out minds is both present in your poem. The distance and the light are two subjects that you deal with literally (as physical entities) and spiritually (as abstract notions that stand for something more than themselves). The poem is an aesthetic snapshot of a mind that has chosen to distance itself from the world. Brilliant, Karabelle!

Love, -Nihad

[Bluehealer]

"sunspots bounce against the backdrop of her heart" =

Upon first reflection - this is a most beautiful piece of imagery -
But, I had a thought I want to share with you...
Think of how the eye works...
Light permeates the lens, and reflects itself in reverse upon the retina -
This imagery suggests the heart as the eye, or retina, collecting the image the
speaker percieves when looking through the window...

don't know where you want to go from there, but the 'heart's eye' is one direction...

-B

[Anhedonia 1349]

The picture you described was wonderful - upon seeing it and reading the versenators challenge, I almost joined just for that piece. It would force me to write something that I'd believe in heavily; while I didn't do so, it doesn't change the way this poem affected me in the least. I'm astonished by the character you juxtaposed onto the simple, featureless woman pictured there. Your imagination proves itself brilliant as I'm taken aback by your very intricate descriptions and scenarios...wow, I'm rambling now. Let's see if I had a favorite....

violating the distance she has placed between
herself
and the world.