through the fog

 

i drove through the fog
to hold you /
to mold you to the curves
of my smile.
to lay you upon linens
and purr beside you
as we slip into silky sleep.

i drove through the fog
to kiss you
with the tender tendency of time.
as it slips away / i embrace the ways
and the days that you are mine.
in this hidden haven
tucked into the corners
of the sky.

i drove through the fog
to reach you
with the slow measure
of momentary calm.
knowing soon i would fold you
into the pockets of
my palms.
then kiss the secret
shadows
of your seas.

I drove through the fog
to touch you
with the gentle eyelash
of my heart.
to nourish you softly
with the nectar from
my lips.
we could learn the taste of
something
sweet and new.

it took me a while,
but i drove through the fog...

i drove through the fog
to you.

Reviews

[Sarah Williams]

This oozes with beautiful romance... Each line seemed to top the one before it, until finally I came to the end and I was left wanting more! There are just too many exquisit lines for me to site all of the ones that I like. There is something about driving through the fog (something that I did quite often when I was going to college) and dreaming of being with the one that you love that is truly magical. Great work!

[L. L. Jacobson]

"wow! SHE IS AMAZING!" is what I just said aloud to the room.
You are so intense in every word you speak. Not one doesn't have its place right where it should be- in the feelings you had, perhaps trembling when you wrote it, or the opposite side of that interlude- being silent and soft through fog or winds, and then right to my gut, my inner soul, intensely flowing though me. Then the reading/writing connection is grandiose in serving its purpose.
This poem is so completely compelling. I want to hear it again and again. Maybe I'm obsessed with the gift of melody and the metaphysical force in its existence that I will be lured to read it over and over like a finger curling in such fog, drawing me in.

i drove through the fog
to kiss you
with the tender tendency of time.
as it slips away / i embrace the ways
and the days that you are mine.

i love this, i love this, i love you.

[M. Quesnel]

This is romantic and sweet. My only suggestion would be to remove the ellipses from the second and fifth stanzas, as it detracts from the beauty of your words.

[Delvin Ashley Draper]

I read this outloud like, five times. Not because I couldn't understand it, but because the imagery needed to be spoken outloud. Driving through the fog to find someone, well, that could be a little tough. You have to have the heart and drive enough to see through the fog, but at the end, I suppose it pays off. You should Evoca this. It's brilliant already, but I think hearing it spoken by the author would make it seem more hopefull, more needing, and more emotional.

Great job! I loved it.

[Kenny Blade]

Beautiful. I would say more but it would only diminish my first impression

Beautiful

Peace
KBlade

[Zachary Dolan]

well, I may not be too strong at analyzing poetry...

...but whoever this poem is about...they're a pretty lucky person...

expressing emotions towards others is SO hard...you do it well.

[Ron Cole]

This is delightful, Emily! Love is like a fog, never certain, revealing sometimes what we want to see, sometimes clouding our vision with wispy illusion! Very well structured and very well done!

[...doublethink]

What a wonderful expression of obvious emotion. Love is certianly in no small quantity in this write. Driving through the fog... driving through the fog... I always hate driving through the fog. Especially at night, when headlights only seem to make it even harder to see, and you wonder how long it will be till your airbag explodes in your face as you go careening off a cliff. Yeah... driving through the fog is never easy. I know you say "driving," but each time I came to that repeated line I had the imagine of a lady running through the fog, and a silhouette just visible in the distance. The actions you build to portray the love you share are exquisite. I believe my favorite lines/image of the poem would be:

"knowing soon i would fold you
into the pockets of
my palms."

The alliteration is a bit more subdued here than elsewhere in the poem, and I think it really helps with the ebb and flow of the poem. On that note as well, I am very fond of alliteration, and think you used it skillfully and to great effect in this piece.

Simply lovely :)

justin

[Anhedonia 1349]

Let's see - my "favorites" library has no more than 15 works in it I'm sure and yet you're there like 4 times. Wait, make that 5. You know what that means.

*thirty seconds later*

Okay, now the gooseflesh has crept away and I feel just as poignant a response as I felt thirty seconds ago; I have no idea how anyone can constantly, without fail, produce beautiful work after beautiful work. You, my friend, are quite gifted and I can't even begin to tell you the ways; what I can tell you is this: put together a book of poetry. Not just for me but for all of us as I can promise that no person who reads your stuff will choose not to buy; do us that favor and I'll be forever endebted.

...and now that I've yanked your chain nearly off I'll get on with the review.

I like the repitition, but for its own sake and for the imagery it evokes. From a "per se" perspective, I notice that it gives the piece a very lyrical feeling, denoting a possible song; a song in this case would be perfect because it would carry both the tremendously powerful love song characteristics as well as the more obsucre yet equally powerful melancholy that works so well in music. That's a huge success in my book.

The consonance that pops up constantly is also a huge plus. Everytime I read it my mind jumps happily along through fields of consonants - lay you upon the linens, slip into silky sleep, tender tendency of time. That's exquisite and while some of the adjective/adverb use carries no merit on its own accord, in sequence it all flows wonderfully. That's unspeakably terrific.

I drove through the fog
to touch you
with the gentle eyelash
of my heart.
to nourish you softly
with the honey from
my lips.
we could learn the taste of
something
sweet and new.

[Mike P.]

I dunno what it is about today but this is now the 4th love poem I've read today that I really enjoyed reading. That is pretty rare. Good job this was classy and romantic...everything my work is not!Lol. Good job.
6