a passing reflection and she's gone

and yes that's my eye... it kinda freaks me out, actually haha

I glanced at the mirror today,
and was surprised to see
that there I was, looking back at me.

"It's been so long," I whispered.
My reflection smiled; I tried not to cry.

and

I felt all the pieces of me shift inside.

She's never been one to reveal such secrets (to me),
but I could see it in her eyes:
her fragility.

I touched my fingertips to the glass,
where my eyes stared back,
and wondered how long
I could make this moment last.

"Where have you been," I asked her softly,
but she looked away, to the side,
vainly attempting to try and hide
what I know.

It was me; I left her; rather,
I allowed her to go.

I looked in the mirror,
and briefly saw myself there.
-it was brief- - she was beautiful-
and there was sunshine in her hair.

 

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

a beautiful and heartbreaking poem.

i've had moments like that. rare moments where truth shines out.

you have crafted a really beautiful space here in this piece...
it has a sort of over-syllabic pause and drawing out
as if the narrator is bound and also resisting form at the same time.

i like this piece a lot.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

I have written poems like that myself. A good theme for many of us.

She's never been one to reveal such secrets (to me),
but I could see it in her eyes:
her fragility.

my favorite part.

deep poem with a nice message. thanks for sharing.

[Ed Rector]

Enjoyed it. The piece really gets you into a moment and sticks you there with such ease... well done...

think about leaving the last two stanza's out and end it with "there was sunshine in her hair"... just a thought...

have a good one...

[Kelly D. Burris]

Interesting how our perception of ourselves change as life changes around us. Seeing someone who you used to be and how life has taken part of you away and the desire for what you seen in yourself before and that you want it back, reclaiming part of yourself, is clearly felt in this piece. Clear and crisp is the reflection and knowing of self, as in a looking glass......
very nice write.
Kelly

[Jason]

I find the most difficult person to accept in the world is that person in the mirror. A am so critical of myself that very often that what reflects back at me, is often someone i do not recognize. To find oneself is a true miracle. Great write love.
Jason

[Cardinal Robin]

My reflection smiled; I tried not to cry.
and
I felt all the pieces of me shift inside.

brilliant! your voice shifts to an emotional age that is part of the wound this comes from, in the simple rhyming. Fascinating meta language. An excellent brief of the interiors of the wounded healer self...
Epitomy and Beauty! It has an odd suggestion that the reflection walks away...from the real person.

[Hedra Helix]

first two lil sections are utter perfection;)
I know what you mean, that's awesome, reach into that glass and keep her current;) thats rad.

[Seriana]

Dang girl, I need a tissue. *Sniff sniff*...no, seriously, this was painfully beautiful. How we hide from our true-selves sometimes, and then, there, amidst the shadows of a mirror, the reflection becomes painfully clear.
I admire you for writing such a thing. Beautiful....

[Larissa G.]

Simply beautiful and marvelous, and a poem describing exactly how all of us have felt at one point of time or another; whether we wish to admit this moment of weakness or not it is something we all have felt, witnessed, even seen the aftermath of in some twisted form or another of disease or even suicide.
Thank you for sharing the feelings with us in a unique, beautifully written way.

[Treasaigh (The Solitar..]

I love this. It means alot to me on a personal level. The pangs of really seeing ones innerself can be a challenge. Great write!


I felt all the pieces of me shift inside.

Hmm..indeed.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

AH, mirror images are so interesting - sometimes you see something beautiful - sometimes you see something you don't want to see - sometimes you aren't sure what you are seeing. This reminds me a little of my poem 'A Reflection' - which is also about a mirror image. Thank you. Nice write.
Light,
Siddartha