i pull you close and breathe you in (and everything else slips away)

on a crowded street
when I press you close (to me)
and kiss you, there
on the place where
the lobe of your ear
curves down to your neck

i still feel
the earth stop
for a moment

and it is only you, there
(with me)

I breathe you in deep
and I'm suddenly weak,
and I want to whisper "baby-
nobody but you
does this to me."

they call it a chemical reaction
but that's a mere fraction of the things
I feel for you.

the years have taught me that few things
-really- matter
and even less of them last
but your skin against my lips
reminds me real fast

how the heart can still awaken
after being put to sleep
and the earth can still stop
(for a moment)
and allow me to breathe.

when you weave your fingers through my hand
and I feel the warm rough texture of your skin
I want to lean into the scent
of you.

and stay.

they call it physical attraction
but that's too simple a way
to describe what is here
(in the air between us)

so I wrap my arms inside the folds of your jacket
and nestle into the curve of your neck
-to heck with it all-
I say

I'm going to stay here (with you)
and breathe you in
all day.

Reviews

[Jeanmarie Flaherty]

Kara, my Karabear. The essence of someone, sometimes the strongest draw they hold for us.


I apologize I have the highest fever I have ever experienced in my life today, so my review may suck, but I want you to know I love this piece, and, corny as it may sound, I'm breathing you right in. :)



Miss you, my darling, and love you very much...


love.me.

[fireblossom]

i want to walk streets with you held close inside my satin lined jacket to smell the fragrance of your hair would still cause the earth to stop for me.

wonderful poem

[Arthur Henn]

What a wonderful worded poem for someone you love. I was going to write something that could be inspired here as a comment, but you said it all.

Well done!

Art

[Wildfleour]

A terrific write. I really like your style.

[.mate.feed.kill.repeat.]

What a profound piece you have here. =]

I like the subject--something I can easily relate to--and I enjoyed the way you presented it. I will be honest--this isn't perfect--but I still enjoyed it a lot.

You had beautiful imagery throughout this piece. Every little detail is brilliant. The emotions are insanely realistic and this piece is easy for the reader to get into. I like the touch you added with the parentheses.

One suggestion I'd make is that instead of putting some lines inside of hyphens/dashes ("-for a moment-," and "-to heck with it all-"), make them stand out using bolded text (or underline or italics or a combination). I think that this will make these lines a little less confusing as to how they fit into the piece. I found that I had to stop and reread the stanza or the line before them so that I could figure out how they worked.

Another thing I'd like to point out is that you start a quote ("and I want to whisper 'baby- ") but you didn't finish the quote anywhere. I think you meant to end it at the end of the stanza, but... that's exactly my point. No one can be sure because you didn't show exactly where it belonged.

Oh--and one more thing that I loved! I adored the last stanza. It was a perfect conclusion. It made me smile because it made me think of someone that I'd really like to be breathing in right now...

A beautiful piece. =] Keep it up.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wonderful...great description and sentiments. Isn't love divine at times...this is quite stunning. I have felt this where you only want to crawl right into the person of your attention. Excellent write. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[RAWR!]

aww,
your poem has a very nice name.

really sweet though

[Seriana]

This is outstanding girl. You really capture a few things about being close to someone that we don't often recognize or remember I suppose. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this:

and I want to whisper "baby-
nobody but you
does this to me.

I sighed, and then laughed, because that is so stinking true when you find "the one", isn't it?

Great poem girl. It's going in my favs....

[Barry S. Maltese]

What good is a breath when it serves no purpose. So, to take in one's true love in the depth of all that you are inside, is the greatest of joinings. To breathe in all that they are - make them one with you is a great concept. Nice work!!

[Ralphy]

Wow, how romantic...your poem made me feel as if I was the one...oh lucky him. Well written Kara.