imagine

that stupid notebook, with the word 'imagine' lilting down the front of it's yellow cover... and the words 'i love you' written in his scrawl on the inside back.

i sat there today and ripped out all the pages i still needed.

then i picked up a pen and wrote in large letters across every empty page.
i am incapable of wasting paper and therefore could never just throw it away... else i would have months before this day.

on every page i told him how i felt. how he hurt me. how he broke me. i forgot about rhythm and rhyme... about meter and sound... and i wrote ugly words with ugly penmanship... the whole thing was not pretty at all.

i'm tired of trying to make it all pretty.

sometimes it's not. sometimes life is ugly. sometimes people are ugly.

and sometimes you just need to write all over the pages and throw it away.

Reviews

[James Conrad]

For a short piece, this is exceptionally powerful.


i'm tired of trying to make it all pretty.

sometimes it's not. sometimes life is ugly. sometimes people are ugly.

and sometimes you just need to write all over the pages and throw it away.


I heard that. Sheeit.

[Greg Metcalf]

"I sat there today and ripped out all the pages I still needed" This popped me out of my chair. This is a great line. A lot of pain is revealed in this short work, but also a lot of power. This is not a person who is broken, even if (you)--I say you since it's labeled a memoir--say you are.

I very much liked this short piece. I will make this suggestion. For me, everything that was so powerfully expressed in the first four paragraphs is reiterated in the last three lines without the same intensity which dilutes the piece. I would simply cut them. Just a suggestion, with or without them, it's great stuff.

[V. Lucien Maier]

Yes! write with your heart, make it ugly, make it happy, BUT NEVER THROW IT AWAY!
a good short story or novel has elements of all sides of life. Therefore that piece you throw away, to rid yourself of pain could be the one element that connects your readers to your work.
Write it all, and keep it. Because sometimes you need a ugly sentence in a beautiful story.
to be an author is not only to embrace happiness, but know and embrace sadness as well.

[Ashly Christen]

haha, this reminded me of me....about unable to waste paper,
but the rest is not a laughing matter,
being hurt in that way...is the worst feeling of deprivation
and you dont have to make everything pretty for someone else
as long as it is pretty to you
they too will see the beauty
and yes, i totally agree...."sometimes you just need to write all over the pages and throw it away. "

[Sandra V.]

I could really see this happening, wonderful =)

[Gandré]

Yes, sometimes the life is ugly.

My favorite quote therefore is:

perant ne peream. means, throw off loads, in order not to sink.

then....the life is much easier. lol. love, lara. you are a sweetheart, too.

[Rebirth And Introspecti..]

I totally and completely agree. And sometimes... like your little yellow notebook... it was never meant for the eyes of the trespasser... but those of an unoffending bystander who will read of your passion and wonder who the fool is who caused such actions

[Dapharoah69 The King Of..]

U inspire me with this write, this is my first time hearing of you, Im looking forward to reading more from such a beautiful soul

[Ryan C. Winters]

Wow - I write my life on pages to throw them away as well.

Poignant.

[Anhedonia 1349]

I missed this one some how. And the saddest part is that I like it more than most of the pieces I've read recently. *sigh*

How'd you get so wonderful? Just tell me that, please. I can only hope that the legacy I leave behind as a writer is one fraction of the one you've left in my life already; nothing I can say will measure up to what you said so briefly and so I'm just going to leave it be. I will say Favorite, of course, but you already knew that, didnt' you?

I have to ask: When you threw your notebook away, did you throw the little pieces away that were still floating in your heart? To me, that was the hardest thing to do.